That's My Story
by GleeGeneration23
Summary: The story of Louisa Von Trapp (cannon compliment to the film only) Some AU and some prequal mentions. Now Complete.
1. A Promise To The Dead

**Hello, this is a new story for me and another dive into the wonderful fandom that is the Sound of Music. I took a bit of a break from my last story and here I am again with a new story that I hope you all enjoy. **

**This story is cannon to the film and in the point of view of Louisa Von Trapp and is in dedication to the actress that played her who recently died. I hope to shine a light on a character that was ignored a little during the film. **

**Also in this story I want to take an In-depth look at the story at the damage that Georg Von Trapp's abandonment of his children did to them. I know that a lot of it is glossed over but I wanted to write about the fact that it wouldn't have been as easy for the Von Trapp children to go from the cold and distant relationship they had with their father to the perfect one they had with him at the end of the film. **

**Included are some swearing from the Von Trapp children. **

**Also there will be discussions of the Second World War in this story. I believe that none of the Von Trapp children (Birgitta upwards) wouldn't have known what was going on outside of Austria. I plan to keep it as historically accurate as I can. Any inaccuracies I apologise. **

**Disclaimer-Nothing is mine just the ins and outs of this story. **

**Please Read and Review. And I hope I can continue this story. Let me know what you think and if this is something that you'd be interested in. I expect this story to last about fifteen chapters over all. **

* * *

That's My Story

The story of Louisa Von Trapp (cannon compliment to the film only) Some AU and some prequal mentions.

* * *

Chapter 1-A Promise To The Dead

Louisa Von Trapp goes through the motions as she and her siblings wait for the arrival of a new governess and their father's return from Vienna.

* * *

Being thirteen Louisa Von Trapp took a great deal of delight in being a teenager. Her thirteenth birthday had coexisted of nothing really. A small cake from the housekeeper. Some gloves from Liesl (hand me downs) and a book or two from Brigitta stolen no doubt from one of Brigitta's joints into town whenever she thought she could get away with it. Some cards from her younger sisters and a very large spider in a jar from her brothers which had been used to get rid of the last governess who had been deathly afraid of spiders and not afraid to hit anyone even Liesl who had been slapped once and had reacted by punching Fraulein Margaretta into the wall.

Friedrich had suggested after that that they make the woman leave under her steam rather than have her write to their father because while little pranks might make him come home, his eldest coming in at all hours and punching the staff would probably have him send Liesl away all from the comfort of the Baroness's house in Vienna.

But being thirteen was a serious thing even if her birthday had gone by unnoticed by anyone including her father who had sent a new hat three weeks after the fact from Vienna and had perhaps realised that it was only Marta who liked pink and not her. Being thirteen meant that she was now in the process of becoming a woman though whenever she tried to mention that to Liesl she was rewarded with a scoff and an eye roll.

Two weeks later they got wind that their father was coming home. Liesl had scoffed again and slammed her door shut and Gretel had gone around in her best dress for weeks before Kurt had explained gently that it would take father a month to come home and that was if he was being quick about it. Even though Vienna was a train or a boat ride away their father always delayed if he could help it. At this point Louisa would be amazed if he could remember their names when he showed up never mind how old they were. Marta's birthday was next and Louisa thought privately she could whistle for all the pink socks she was going to get.

"You know why he's coming home don't you?" Brigitta asked one night as she was braiding her hair for bed. Louisa who was staring out the window and wondering if Liesl was going to try and sneak out to meet the telegraph boy again turned to look at her younger sister.

"Oh why?"

"New governess. Has to be. Why else would he come home?" Tactfully her sister left out mentioning the fact that their father might want to come home and see his children at the beginning of a long summer when the world seemed to be tipped on some sort of axis that made everyone's eyes dart around fearfully. Brigitta might be ten but even she knew that somethings were better left unspoken in the Von Trapp family home.

Louisa thought her sister might be right but she would be damned if she would tell her so. Brigitta was both far too smug and too smart sometimes for her own good.

"Did you overhear Franz then?"

"Yes, he came in to clean the library and I was hiding in a corner. He was telling Frau Schmidt. Father's gone to the abbey to see if a nun can come and look after us"

"A nun?" Louisa laughed. "I'd give her a week. Liesl will take down a nun in half the time it would take for all of use to get rid of a woman from the town. She's never going to last. I wouldn't worry your head about it Brigitta. Chances are she'll be gone before father leaves"

"Father always leaves as soon as the new one can remember all the whistling. And they always do because he gives them such funny angry looks when they cannot"

Louisa inclined her head to show that she agreed with her sister.

There was a pause where she sat there and then the tell tale signs of Frau Schmidt coming up the stairs sent them scarpering to their beds. Frau Schmidt was the one person that actually seemed to give a damn about them and Louisa didn't need another row. Their father was coming home and if they wanted him to stay it was best to keep their mouths shut and their eyes down.

Louisa pulled down the heavy covers from the bed and rested her head on the pillow listening to the wind coming down around the house. She couldn't believe that their father was coming home probably for Marta's birthday. He had missed hers, Fredrich's fourteenth and Liesl's sixteenth this year alone and he flinched whenever Gretel tried to hug him. At this point Louisa suspected that Liesl was more of a mother to their youngest sisters than the one that had given birth to them.

Thinking of her mother inspired an odd cocktail of hurt, anger and shame. The loss was still there, even after five years or so and the anger that came with it. Had their mother not caught an infection after Gretel's birth then there was a chance that she would not have died. Had she not given up that fight and succumbed to death then maybe their father would love them again.

Of course, whenever she thought like that, she found the shame curdling in her stomach. It was not her mother's fault that the good Lord had come for her. It was not her fault that their father had become as closed off as a locked pantry with an unpickable lock. She thought to herself that she was being unfair by blaming a dead woman and then she would forget about it until her father came home or disappeared off to Vienna with that bloody Baroness woman and then the whole circle would come back to haunt her again.

She turned over so that her back was to the window and snuggled back under the covers listening in the dark to Brigitta's even breathing. And then listening to the world carry on without her she turned her head into the pillow and fell asleep.

* * *

The day before their father came back Liesl was in the bathroom rolling her hair into curlers that their father disapproved off (not that he ever seemed to notice that his eldest curled her hair, wore lipstick and seemed to go out most nights to flirt with the local telegraph boy). Brigitta was sat in the bath fully clothed reading the newspaper. Louisa could see that the frontpage was covered in a picture of that nasty little man Adolf Hitler and that her sister's brow was furrowed.

Louisa on the other hand was sat on the toilet next to the window ledge and was flicking the cigarette ash into the air. She didn't smoke that much, actually bar one or two cigarettes that had left her with a cough that had lasted for most of the month and a concern for her health after apparently taking a 'chill'. Instead she watched the smoke clouds rise into the sky that was already a perfect cloudless blue and wondered not for the first time how long they would be graced with their father's presence.

"Liesl…what does this Adolf Hitler mean when he says we are supposed to be German?" Brigitta said after a while still staring at the paper. Liesl didn't speak for a while and then shrugged.

"I don't know. To be honest I don't pay much attention to it though…" she trailed off blushing a little and Louisa shared a smile with Brigitta. She was willing to bet a whole slab of toffee on the knowledge that Liesl would have said Rolfe had told her about the struggle going on in Austria and around the world.

"It doesn't matter Brigitta" Liesl said finally regaining her composure. "This is Austria, we are Austrian. Father was awarded medals by the Emperor and he survived the collapse alright. We have this big nice house to prove it. Nothing that some man in Germany is going to do is going to threaten the peace that we've got"

Louisa opened her mouth to call Liesl out on what she was talking about—as dense as she was about political affairs she had to admit she thought her elder sister was underthinking it somewhat.

"So…what are we going to do when this new governess comes to stay?" she said changing the subject and willing to take the frown off her little sister's face. Brigitta's confusion at the sharpness of Liesl's tone when she had spoken about being Austrian was not something that she wanted her little sister to dwell upon. Especially because anything political…or indeed any conversation whatsoever had the chance of blowing up into a row whenever their father was around or he would just simply walk off and leave them for another month or so to go and sit in a palace in Vienna with some stupid Baroness.

It was nice when he stayed longer than two days not to mention she knew how much Marta was counting on their father being there for her wedding. Trying to explain their father to their soon to be seven and five year old sisters never worked well. Marta would just look confused and Gretel would cry and Louisa thought that perhaps it was too much of a headache all round.

"I think we'll see how she copes with a frog in her pocket and then a pine cone at dinner" Brigitta said with satisfaction. "Kurt's out hunting for one in the garden right now. And then I suppose if that doesn't scare her you'll have to do your spider trick again Louisa"

"I wish you wouldn't do that" Liesl said from where she was using a small comb to brush through her eyebrows. "I lie awake when you do it and wonder if your going to fall to your death on that trellises."

"Well I haven't done so yet" Louisa retorted. "Have a little bit more faith sister. Besides one huge spider should do it. I really don't want to have to do it with a snake in my pocket. Last time I was half convinced it was going to slither down my leg and then the whole thing would have been for nothing"

She flicked the cigarette again watching the smoke disappear and then took a small drag.

"That's really disgusting you know" Brigitta said in an all-knowing tone.

"Oh shut up"

* * *

Captain Georg Von Trapp showed up the next day at two in the afternoon. The whistle caught them all unawares and sent Gretel half into Liesl's lap in fright. There was a pause as they all turned to look at their eldest sister judging her actions by their own. If Liesl obeyed they all obeyed. If Liesl rebelled then…

The whistle went again.

"Oh come on then" Liesl said with an eyeroll and Louisa flew out of the room after her and tried not to smile when she heard Friedrich say a very rude word under his breath.

Dinner was a silent affair and neither her father nor his children made any attempt at conversation. A part of Louisa wanted him to go and not come back because they were better off when he wasn't here. The other part of her wanted him to take notice of her and she felt at war between the two parts of herself battling it out without any hope of a winner. It was a constant doubled edge sword when it came to her father, she loved him and she hated him all at once. She wanted him here and she wanted him gone and the struggle was enough to make her want to cry.

But she didn't. She might only be thirteen but Louisa Von Trapp had a grip on her emotions the kind of which most thirteen year olds didn't have. She forced herself not to cry but instead to sit up straight with her back straight and take whatever was coming weather it was cold indifference, a moment of rare interest or a tongue lashing over what had happened to their governess.

This night they were apparently to get nothing but the indifference which Louisa supposed was a good thing. It meant that not even Franz the eternal tattle teller had told her father about Liesl punching Fraulein Margaretta. Liesl for the most part ate in complete silence with a dignity and an iciness that she reserved only for their father and that everyone but him could feel around the room like a draught of cold wind.

They went to bed in silence and Brigitta slipped into bed without so much as a word. Louisa for the most part pretended that she didn't see the newspapers that their father forbade his most intellectual and curious daughter to read rustle under the sheets where she had hidden them. She wondered if Brigitta would just burn them or if she was looking for the ruckus that finding them would achieve.

She turned her head this time so she was staring at the drapes. A nun…well…a nun for a governess was easy pickings. She comforted herself with that knowledge for a long time before she fell into an uneasy sleep refusing to acknowledge that there had been a time in this big house where things had been different. When there had been singing and laughter and her father had been present rather than absent.

Well she thought, that wasn't her life now. This was. And a nun was just one more obstacle she had to work through before the last golden days of the summer of 1938 began in earnest.

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**And there it is, I hope you all enjoy. **

**Next Chapter-Maria arrives at the villa, Liesl sneaks off to meet the telegraph boy. Georg Von Trapp lasts three days with his children. **


	2. Book Burning

**Hi, so here is the second chapter. Thank you all so much for your kind reviews and your favourites and your following when it comes to this story, it means a lot. I hope to publish the next one sooner rather than later. **

**Disclaimer-Nothing is mine. **

**Please Read and Review. **

**And anything that is historically inaccurate I apologise-however I have believed all alone and I will write to that that the Von Trapp children-the older ones at any rate knew what was going on in Europe in the 1930s. **

* * *

That's My Story

Chapter 2-Book Burning.

Maria arrives at the villa. Liesl sneaks off to meet the Telegraph boy. Georg Von Trapp lasts three days with his children.

* * *

The next day was the same as always broken up by their father turning up at breakfast as well as dinner which was unheard off and Brigitta flitching another paper and this time when she was reading it out loud Friedrich's head shot up. They were in their schoolroom, Marta and Gretel were in the other classroom with Frau Schmidt. Louisa's younger two sisters were too small for the schoolroom and therefore their housekeeper took over the minimal education that they received. It had been their governess job, but their new governess was not here.

It did not bode well. Louisa knew from experience that their father couldn't tolerate lateness of any kind. If she was a day late that meant that he was already furious. Of course, that meant that dinner tonight would be a nightmare. The rest of them were sat in the other schoolroom keeping themselves to themselves. Liesl was embroidering something, Brigitta was reading another stash of newspapers that she had stolen and Louisa was supposed to be drawing. Kurt and Fredrich were playing chess. The Von Trapp children were perfectly positioned so that when tor if their father came in they were doing actives that he would approve off.

When he wasn't here…well…with the exception of Brigitta they didn't bother.

"Book burning" Friedrich said looking up from the chessboard. "Why would the Germans want to burn books?"

Brigitta shrugged looking rather alarmed. Louisa knew that for her sister, burning books was like burning people.

"It's because they don't agree with the people who wrote the books or what there about" Liesl said into the stunned silence. "Put the newspaper away Brigitta I don't want to hear anymore about this."

Louisa thought about it, the big bonfire in the middle of the town square while people lobbed books into it just for the simple fact that the government were telling them that those books were wrong. She imagined the roar of the flames and acrid smoke and thought that while such events would not happen in Austria they were happening in a country not to far away from them and that smoke and sparks travelled fast and furiously. She shivered to herself and pulled her blanket closer over her shoulders dropping her pencil on her sketchpad.

It was clear outside, a perfectly cloudless blue sky and if she opened the window she knew she would feel the sun, the breeze, smell the grass and the hear the sounds of the birds that perched near the lake. This country was at peace. There was no need for Brigitta to ask questions that posed apposed such a peace.

"Are you alright?" Liesl said putting down her needle and eyeing her critically.

"Just a little cold" Louisa replied trying to get the images out of her head of books burning and people jeering and soldiers walking up and down the street. "Let's talk about something else"

The conversation moved quickly to the frog Kurt had in a box under his bed and Louisa tried to engage in the conversation and not think of unpleasant things. She opened the window a second and stared out at the front of the house and saw her driveway, even the gravel had to be raked immaculately every day her father was in residence. She thought she could hear in the distance a woman singing. She turned her back on the sound just as the gates opened and a young woman come in, just as Brigitta said she was going to get another book, it didn't matter—everyone knew there was no place for singing in the Von Trapp family household.

When the whistle blew they waited. It was always a good game to wait and see how their father reacted when they didn't jump to the calling card of the whistle, it didn't matter though, there small rebellion because they ran either way. He was their father and they were too used to it either way. Besides Gretel and Marta didn't bother with their small rebellion, they couldn't remember a time when it didn't exist. Louisa thought that they knew no other way to deal with their father other than to jump when he called.

But Louisa remembered very bloody well. And right now she was battling both her emotions and what felt like the world and she didn't want to march and shout and scream.

* * *

The nun turned governess looked barely older than Liesl. She was tall and slender, with cropped red hair and big blue eyes. She was wearing a leather hat and the most hideous dress that Louisa had seen—and she had lived through Fraulein Josephine's disastrous wardrobe and that had been the stuff of nightmares. Liesl who read Vouge magazine had been in a state of vicious horror for weeks and even Louisa who most certainly did not read Vouge had to admit that a blindfolded child could do better.

What was even more astounding was the fact that she didn't seem to want to obey any of their father's rules. Never before had a governess pulled the Captain up on his behaviour, they had taken it as they had taken every other rule, as the nature of life in the Von Trapp household and if she was being honest with herself she had to admit that she and her siblings had ensured that each and every governess didn't last long because…how else were they supposed to get father to acknowledge their existence for more than a week?

Louisa shot a look at Brigitta next to her who lifted one shoulder almost as if she was stretching out a kink as if to say to her older sister that—yes, I don't know what's going on either but this is different—.

Their father left them in a mood seconds later something that Louisa suspected the new governess would pay for in some way and that would hasten his departure from the villa. She saw Liesl's back stiffen as he brushed past her without a word and when her face turned back to the woman not much older than she was Louisa could see her sister battle down her annoyance that their father was not going to be there for her sister Marta's seventh birthday and that once again Liesl was going to have to be the mother and the father to their siblings—a task which she did not want and yet had no choice but to perform like a trained monkey.

"At ease" the woman…no Fraulein Maria said her voice gentle though weather she was telling the Von Trapp children this or herself Louisa couldn't tell. She sent them all a smile that seemed genuine enough but there had been too many governesses who had smiled at them over the years and they had always left as soon as they realised that the Von Trapp's stuck together like glue and didn't like outsiders.

"Well then, can you start again by telling me your names and how old you are."

Well it was time for the old switch between her and Brigitta then. It was always fun to see how long that would last because she and Brigitta were the closest in age and yet looked completely different. The trick shouldn't work but it did, Fraulein Helene called them by opposite names for a month and had no idea she was doing it wrong. Plus they still had the frog.

And if they had to improvise well…Louisa couldn't climb the walls of the house with a whole jar of spiders in both her hair and her hands for nothing. She had learned a long hard apprenticeship when it came to the governesses her father employed. She had learnt their ways and their meanings and their ticks. She studied them like Brigitta studied the papers and Liesl studied the different shades of blonde in Rolf's hair.

And this woman read right through it.

Huh.

That was a new one.

Brigitta deflected with a comment about how hideous her dress was. Fraulein Maria made a comment about how she had no clue what she was to do in her role as a governess. Louisa could practically feel the frog in Kurt's pocket quiver with excitement.

"Poor little dears"

Louisa waited until she was outside and away from the rest of her younger siblings before she jogged up to Liesl.

"Bitch" she said under her breath.

Liesl managed a small smile that didn't quite meet her eyes, Louisa suspected that might have something to do with the fact that if their father and their new governess were staying then her romantic trysts with Rolfe were dead in the water.

She never thought that her sister was looking out over the white capped mountains still covered in snow even in summer and thinking on the information Brigitta had told them and the people that were Austrian by birth and yet seemed to think that they were German as well.

But then again, Liesl had never been an easy book to read and Louisa had never been the most interested reader.

* * *

Dinner that night had been…_interesting _to say the least.

The pine cone (which was Kurt again because only he could think of something that childish and yet that innocuous)was a success. Saying prayers at dinner was new and as far as Louisa was concerned a complete and utter waste of time and then the damn nun started on their guilt thanking them for the wonderful welcome and refusing to get them into trouble with their father when he asked her what the hell (and she meant that recently) that they were on about.

Louisa hated to say she was impressed. But she was impressed.

She might have even shed a tear.

It was going to be a lot harder than usual to get rid of this one she could tell.

The announcement that their father was leaving again was met by a chorus of disappointment that Louisa couldn't understand. But then again she was thirteen and nobody else at this table was. Of course he was going to leave them and go back to the Baronesses warm bed. Why change the habit of the last three years or so? But there were two surprising changes to the little speech that he gave time and time again and Louisa found herself full of dread when it came to them.

The fact that Uncle Max was coming was a relief. Their father's friend who loved music and brought them candy had a knack of shielding himself and the children from their father's anger. He deflected beautifully and that allowed them a great deal more freedom amongst themselves. Uncle Max visiting was not the thing that bothered her.

The Baroness was.

The Baroness was a huge concern. Regardless of weather or not it would help her father's moods she was not in the market for a new mother, not when she was still so angry and so at sea with her emotions when it came to the original one. She wanted to smash the plate in front of her and she had no idea why and yet she did all the same. The Baroness coming to stay might mean that her life would change and Louisa had fought for the patience to keep up with life here with a barely there father and a sister who was more mother than sister and she was not sure she was ready for that to change. The Von Trapp children stuck together. And nobody got them to change.

They were working their way through a slab of chocolate cake and Louisa was working her way through this dilemma, when Fritz came in telegraph in hand claiming at Liesl's innocent question that it was that 'young man Rolfe' who had delivered it. Louisa smothered her giggle with a mouthful of cake because Liesl could kick hard when she wanted to and Louisa didn't need the limp.

* * *

Dinner after Liesl slipped out to meet her telegraph boy was a mostly silent affair, their father didn't look up from his port as they slipped past them and it was only the softness of Fraulein Maria's goodnight and god bless that had Louisa pausing. Nobody had ever said that to them either.

"What do you think?" Brigitta said as soon as the door was shut. Louisa pulled her hair out of the plats and watched the blonde hair spill over her shoulders in odd spikes. Try as she might she was never gonna be like Liesl with her big blue eyes and beautiful hair that never seemed to get messy or greasy.

"She's going to be a nightmare to get rid off"

"But do you…do you want to get rid of her? She seems a lot nicer than the rest of them"

"Brigitta she could be the Princess Snowflake and I'd still want to get rid of her. I don't trust any of them. and I sure as hell don't trust this Baroness woman."

She threw her good clothes into the closet not caring and went into the small bathroom to brush her teeth. Brigitta watched her from where she was sat on top of the big bed re-plaiting her dark hair into one long braid. Louisa came out and climbed into bed reaching for her sketchbook before realising that there was no point in wasting good paper when she was too angry to draw.

Brigitta climbed into bed and blew the candle out. The room went dark.

"I like her" she said into the darkness. "Perhaps all will turn out well Louisa. That would be nice wouldn't it"

There was something about her sisters tone that had Louisa biting her tongue. It would not be all good and nice. It would be hell. Hell and she was angry enough to not want it. Anger was a nice safe emotion, she was able to hide behind it. She could almost understand her father's desire to hide behind it.

Almost.

So she bit down on her reply. "Maybe" was all she said.

There was a pause as Brigitta breathing evened out. Somewhere Louisa knew Liesl was flirting with the poster child for blonde hair and blue eyes and her father was preparing for something big.

Somewhere in the distance a thundercloud let out a noise.

It seemed to echo everywhere.

Her last thought before sleep claimed her was that it was almost like an omen.

She would never know how right she was.

* * *

**And there is this chapter. I hope to have the next one published soon. **

**Next Chapter-There is a thunderstorm and some singing. Louisa's father goes away again. Fraulein Maria gifts the children new clothes. **


	3. Lost Companions And New Friends

**Hi, so here is the third chapter of this story. Thank you so much for commenting on the previous two and I hope you like this one. **

**Disclaimer-Nothing is mine just this chapter and this work. **

**I do hope anything historical is accurate, If not I apologise. **

**Please Read and Review. **

**And there it is, I hope to update sooner rather than later. **

* * *

That's My Story

Chapter 3-Lost Companions And New Friends.

In which there is a thunderstorm and some singing and laughter. Louisa's father goes away again and Fraulein Maria gifts the children new clothes.

* * *

Louisa had been asleep for maybe an hour or so (or so it felt like) when someone was shaking her awake. She knew realistically who it would be. She shared a room with her for crying out loud! Louisa knew who it was that was forcing her out of her deep sleep when it was still dark outside. She was also going to kill her.

Forcing one eye open she turned and stared at Brigitta her hair mused from sleep, Marta and Gretel on either side.

"What?" she asked in a tone that was not her politest.

Brigitta shot her a look that Louisa could read through like a book because Brigitta was easy to read. She wanted to smile but her eyes were still heavy with sleep. Marta and Gretel had gotten scared by the storm and she had gone to Liesl…Liesl was still not back which meant that she and Rolfe had done more than some polite summer walking (and that was something Louisa was going to ponder on some other time) and that they had then come to Brigitta and Louisa to do what Louisa didn't know. She was certainty not going to comfort anyone, she wasn't the comforting kind she wanted nothing more to do than to close her eyes and go back to sleep. She wasn't scared of thunder.

Louisa (as she constantly told herself) wasn't afraid of anything.

"Go to sleep, go find the boys, go find anyone" she snapped and she turned her head to lie on the pillow.

"But Louisa" Gretel said shaking her head. "The thunder is scary"

"Then go find Fraulein Maria then" Louisa snapped. "You're the one that claims that you like her. She's in the bedroom across the hall. Go to her for comfort" she added nastily.

Gretel watched her for a second and her eyes filled with tears before she turned around and ran as another peel of thunder mixed in with lightening rocked the whole room and sent Marta scuttering away too soon after. Brigitta turned to Louisa and her face was twisted with annoyance. It was easy in moments like this to see how much Brigitta resembled Liesl. And their father.

"Oh well done" Brigitta said scathingly. "You know were going to have to go after them. Remember Fraulein Josephine? Gretel went to her once and got a smack for her trouble and Liesl ended up knocking a tooth out in retaliation"

"Liesl's still out"

"She is?" Brigitta asked momentarily diverted.

"But the door's locked. How will she get in?"

"She'll manage" Louisa said knowing full well the intense power that their older sister possessed when it came to getting what she wanted off people.

Brigitta watched her for a second and then shrugged. "Well I'm going after them" she said imperiously and she turned and ran. Louisa bit back her retort that the only reason that Brigitta was going was because she too was scared of the thunder and that perhaps she should change that view and grow up but then there was another peel of thunder that rocked the whole room and she just knew that she wasn't going to get any sleep whatsoever.

When she arrived at the room, she was a little behind Fredrich and Kurt though what they were doing there she didn't know. She raised an eyebrow at her older brother who shrugged a little and she followed them into the room determined to find something that she could tease them with later.

What she found was somewhat surprising. Her little sisters were curled up under the covers with Fraulein Maria. Kurt was sat on the edge of the bed and Brigitta was sat on the other edge. Friedrich went to the bedpost and sat down ducking his head just as another thunderclap sounded and feeling rather strange Louisa sat down next to him. None of their other governesses acted like this. So why was this one?

Another thunderclap sounded this time so close and so near and so real that even Louisa had to duck her head though she told herself once her eyeline was with the cover of the bed that she was being ridiculous. That it didn't matter weather or not the thunder was near or not. That it didn't matter weather this woman was being nice or not. Chances are she would go. The only problem was if she got her little siblings to like her and then broke their hearts when she returned to the nunnery.

"Do you know what I like to do when I'm sad? I sing about my favourite things. Let's have a go"

Louisa carefully didn't look at Friedrich. She wished that Liesl was here because her sister would put a stop to this. Singing did not happen in the Von Trapp household. Singing was forbidden. Actually come to think about it Louisa wasn't sure she even knew how to sing.

Fortunately, she didn't have to. Fraulein Maria did it for them. She danced around them singing about her favourite things. She talked about raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens, snowbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles. Then there was bunny rabbits, books, a good sneeze and then when Liesl came out of the bathroom in a nightgown eyes sparkling and looking…well…strange…and telling them all that telegraphs were her favourite things.

Had she not been caught up in the moment (to be fair this was the most exciting thing that had happened to her in a long time) then she would have ignored this. But the fact of the matter was that she was struggling to stay mad at the whole situation when everyone was twirling around and smiling and laughing, herself included.

She felt Brigitta take her hand and then she twirled around with her talking and giggling about books and snowball fights and puppies with big eyes and she started laughing. The last time that she had acted or even felt like this was…well…a time so long ago she had forgotten it and what was left was placed in a box filled with memories and warmth and love.

And that of course was when their father turned up. There was a moment where Fraulein Maria skidded to a stop and she stared with her wide blue eyes at their father who was standing there with a face full of such thunder that it made the storm outside look like some sort of rain fall the kind that you could walk through and not catch a cold from.

Immediately they skidded to a halt and reaching out for Marta, Louisa flung her sister onto the bed assuming their usual order and then attempting to look very hang-dog. This was it she knew. This was the bit where Fraulein Maria's happy nature would burn out. Nobody could deal with their father in this mood and still come out wanting to change things for the better. Not in this household.

"And you Liesl. I don't remember seeing you after dinner"

Liesl looked at their father to that her expression one of such guilt that Louisa did wonder weather or not her sister had done something well…shameful with Rolfe. She had clearly come home late dripping wet and now with the way she was acting…but no…Liesl wouldn't do something like that surely? This was the 1930s. The world might be changing but it didn't change that much.

But before her sister could dig herself into a shallow grave the governess spoke up.

"You see Captain Liesl and I decided to get better acquainted."

Liesl seemed to sway a little with relief. Louisa couldn't understand this. Twice this women had saved their skins. She was not used to this. Why couldn't the other shoe just drop? Their father made an uninterested noise as if the opinion of Liesl and her new governess mattered as much to him as weather or not Fritz was polishing the silver tomorrow.

"Very well" he snapped as the last of his patience with his children wore thin (actually Louisa knew they were lucky to have had it this good for this amount of time) "Back to bed the lot of you"

They didn't need to be told twice. They scarpered as one back to their respective rooms even Liesl though she claimed she was too grown up to run back to bed.

As soon as she and Brigitta had made it back to their bedroom they shut the door and locked it before scarpering back to their beds and diving under their respective covers. It was a long while before either one of them spoke and when Louisa felt brave enough, and calm enough to speak up she did so in a whisper.

"Well that was interesting"

"What, the fact that she was kind enough to let us stay with her, sing to us or the fact that she covered for Liesl in front of father?" Brigitta whispered back.

"All of the above. Nobody's ever done that before."

"Liesl's never been that late coming in before either"

"Doesn't matter. Father goes tomorrow and then it will probably be a month before we see him. Chances are when the shock wears off she'll go back to father's rule of law and we won't be giggling about our favourite things but marching in the rain while she blows that damned whistle"

Brigitta gave a little giggle at the language and then was silent for such a long time that Louisa thought her sister might have fallen asleep.

"Your determined to see the bad in her aren't you?" she said quietly into the darkness as the rain lashed around the windows.

Yes, Louisa thought into the silence. Because that way when she leaves—and make no mistake sister she will leave—it will hurt less.

But Brigitta didn't want to hear that. Her happy sister's head was already filled with frightening bit of information of a world that seemed to pause on the brink of something so terrible it was almost unnameable. Louisa opened her mouth, shut it and then opened it again.

"No" she said finally. "No I'm not. Go to sleep Brigitta. It's been a long day"

And with that she turned her back and went to sleep on her side, effectively ending the conversation and wanting nothing more to do than to sleep and wish away the night where for one moment she had felt like a normal thirteen year old and not a Von Trapp.

* * *

They ate breakfast in silence. Their father gave them all the standard lecture about their behaviour which was of course tinged as always with a vague threat of punishment if they drove this governess away.

When he disappeared out of the door and into the car as if he was running away from them there was a collective sigh of relief from the Von Trapp children. Fraulein Maria had not joined them for breakfast and therefore it was easy to smile and grin at each other. They had survived three whole days of their father's cold heartedness. They had survived it. Chances are he wouldn't be back for weeks and then there would be the added presence of Uncle Max and the Baroness to distract him.

They were clearing up the breakfast dishes and putting them on the side for Frau Schmidt to take away to the kitchen when Fraulein Maria called for them. They walked upstairs in silence. None of them had forgotten the conversations that had taken place last night and while Gretel and Marta ran to her with their arms outstretched she held herself back.

The covers of the bed seemed to be covered in the old drapes. The yellow and green fabric had been changed into what looked like clothes. Dresses and shorts and kerchiefs foAnr hair and so bright—unlike what they usually wore that Louisa missed most of Fraulein Maria's explanation that they were play clothes and that today she wanted them to go out into the town and up into the hills to see the peace and serenity that she was used to seeing every day.

"We don't play" Louisa said over the giggles and shouts from all of her siblings bar Liesl who seemed as stunned as she was. "We march"

"Well today we play" Fraulein Maria said with a smile. "So go and get out of those horrible strait jackets and get ready. I want to leave the house in half an hour"

Louisa took the dress that she was handed in silent shock and allowed Liesl to drag them back into their respective rooms. She found herself getting dressed methodically even though she had no idea what they were going to do. The change in the routine that had governed her life for the last six years or so was so rapid that it was hard to get her head around. She tied back her blonde hair under the kerchief and stared at herself in the mirror. She had never worn clothes such as these, bright and garish and designed simply for running around. They were light and bright and Louisa was not a light girl. She pulled on her shoes and followed Brigitta who was chattering away a book in her pocket and caught Liesl's eye as they went down the stairs. Her sister gave her a shrug as if to say _just go along with it. _

It didn't connect until they were outside the gates and running away from the big house with the imposing iron gates and the windows and the big drive. Louisa didn't realise that she was out away from that poisonous place that held so many bad memories for her until she could breathe in the clean air, the smell of the city, the breeze coming off the river and her siblings almost giddy around them.

They were outside for the first time. They were playing for the first time.

They were for the first time free.

"Long may this last" Liesl muttered as Fraulein Maria went to inquire about train tickets to take them up to the mountain.

"Amen" Louisa said somewhat doubtfully but smiling all the same. "Amen"

* * *

**And there you are. I hope you all enjoy this chapter and i will try and update sooner rather than later. **

**Next Chapter-There are changes in the Von Trapp household. The Von Trapp children finally learn how to sing and Louisa begins to see life outside of the four walls of her gated house. **


	4. The Music Of Madness

**Hi, so here is another chapter. I hope that you enjoy. I will try and update sooner rather than later. I do apologise about the lateness of this chapter. I hope to publish the next one soon. **

**Also while some of the dialogue is the same as the movie, not all of it will be due to disclaimers and such. **

**Disclaimer-Nothing is mine. **

**Please Read and Review. **

* * *

That's My Story

Chapter 4-The Music Of Madness

There are changes afoot in the Von Trapp household. The Von Trapp children finally learn how to sing and Louisa begins to see a life outside of the four walls of her gated house.

* * *

She had never really appreciated how beautiful Salzburg was. The city she had grown up in and yet had never seen before was a wash with cream buildings and fountains of water and rich smells and colours. There were the cars on the road, a delightfully new modern piece of technology that mingled with the old buggies and carts. Their father had always preferred a car claiming that it showed the family status as well as for ease of convenience. Louisa had never actually been in one because…well…their father had never cared enough to take them for a journey in the car. Any driving he did was mostly towards Vienna and back.

Most of their childhood had been confined to four walls and a gate, they had a garden that showed them the lake and the alps that were always beautifully laced in snow even when the heat from August hit them. They'd always had access to the water and the garden, fresh air and the changing seasons, they went to mass in their local church on Christmas and at Easter but that was really the only time that they ever seemed to leave their house and that had always been a short march there and a short march back. Never before had they had time to look around at their home city centre and spend time at leisure.

Fraulein Maria decided that they would get the train up to the hills and with Liesl carrying the basket of food she'd prepared herself they boarded the tiny little train that took them further and further away from the smoke and the dust of the city and more towards the cool colder air that was the alps, the fresh scent of grass and the breeze that seemed to be just enough, freeing the Von Trapp children of their fear that this was all just some sort of dream.

Louisa could see the changes in her siblings. Kurt and Fredrich began to immediately kick the ball around rolling around in the mud once they were sure they wouldn't get into trouble for their actions. Brigitta sat down on the grass completely content with a book and Louisa was willing to bet that it was a forbidden one to boot, one of those political books or a romance that their father would find hideous unsuitable and that Brigitta ordered to the house because she was braver than a lot of people gave her credit for. Gretel and Marta had found their skipping ropes and were happily jumping alone and Liesl had begun to unpack their picnic, a folded fashion magazine in her small bag. It was jarring seeing her siblings like this, as if they were free, free from their father, free from fear, free from loss and sadness and loneliness. And Louisa who had suffered all of that before she had hit nine years old leaned back on the grass and stared up at the blue sky and the white capped alps and the fresh springy green of the earth under her back and tried to blink back the tears that had for no reason, so embarrassingly come to her eyes.

If Fraulein Maria noticed this, if she noticed any of this, any of the changes in the children she had met just a day previously, then she declined to comment.

Their picnic was delightfully simple and Louisa who had always had an appetite ate well. She found that she was eating delightfully well, she was tucking into the soft white bread and the creamy cheese and the thick butter well, the softness of the honey and the warmth of the tea, the chill of the spring water specially kept cool and the simple delights that came with the day with it's glorious weather and the knowledge of doing something that had seemed so easy to everyone else and yet for Louisa Von Trapp was so forbidden.

Once again the bitterness she felt towards her father bubbled beneath the surface and she quashed it down. He couldn't take this moment from her. This was her rebellion against her father, against the all ever powerful presence of the Baroness despite never having met the woman, against the rise of Germany and fascism and the domination of things that Louisa never wanted to speak off. This moment here in the grass in the hills was hers.

(Later she would remember this moment with fondness. She would remember it as the last moment of a childhood that was not as bad as she would believe it was. In that moment it was almost a little bit like growing up)

(Of course, such is the way of life that she wouldn't realise that until she was a little bit older, a little bit more wiser and the world was a little bit more broken.)

There was a very long moment where she lay there in the grass and thought of nothing other than the fact that she was seeing sky and clouds for the first time, that she was experiencing freedom for the first time.

She didn't realise that she had fallen asleep until Liesl gently shook her awake her touch the same gentle touch that she employed even when they were in their soft beds in the house and their father was whistling for them when the morning was still dark and he was leaving.

The day mulled into the afternoon and the conversation turned to the tricks that they had played. It seemed that in this moment where the day had been so long and so good nobody cared about the fact that they had all sworn that Fraulein Maria was just one of many, many governesses and that she wouldn't become anything more.

"I don't understand how children as nice as you can play such awful tricks on people"

Louisa would have snorted in response to that, but Brigitta got their first.

"Oh it's easy" she said in a tone so normal that there was no mistaking her easy intent.

"But why?"

It was Liesl who answered this time and she spoke the simple truth with such honestly that it seemed to Louisa that they had always known that this was the reason why they had done what they had done. Surely if they knew it and Fraulein Maria suspected it then their father must know the reason why he couldn't employ a governess for longer than six months. Surely, he must know why his children were running wild no matter how many rules he put into place. Surely he must know that one daughter was sneaking off with boys, one was reading forbidden books and one was on the cusp of becoming a woman desperate for freedom, for life, for love. Surely, he must know that he had two sons who were longing to be men one of whom was desperate to know if there was going to be war and if so could he—Friedrich become a man like his father? Surely, he must know that he had two little girls who were desperate for attention.

"Well how else do we get father's attention"

Liesl phrased it without pause, without even a question and Fraulein Maria nodded with a soft "Oh I see" Louisa looked away pretending that she wasn't hurt by the fact that it took this to get their only living parent to see them even if it was blinkered by the hurt and the pain that came when you lost your wife of many, many years and the mother of your children.

She loved her father, really she did, but she just wished her feelings towards him were not so complicated. That she could tell him that she loved him despite the fact that he was never there but at the same time could not understand why they, his own children were so very painful for him.

It was all one great mess of wool inside her head and Louisa knew if she was to even begin untangling it then she would not like the emotions that would rise in her like wriggling snakes waiting to strike.

The conversation moved onto the Baroness and her impending visit whenever that was going to be. Fraulein Maria said nothing for a while before reaching for the battered old guitar at her feet and placing it in her lap like it was her very own child.

"Well then how about we sing something for the Baroness when she arrives"

There was a very pregnant pause.

"We don't know how to sing" Louisa said flatly speaking up for the first time since she had woken up. Fraulein Maria looked at her with those very wide, very blue, very big eyes that seemed to reach inside you and speak to the depths of your troubles. Louisa held out on keeping that gaze for as long as possible until Kurt spoke up about singing and the fact that they had never had lessons or reasons to sing.

"Oh well then, we can learn, it's not that hard"

Louisa blinked before catching Liesl's eye who was wearing an expression of great scepticism. Surely it was a lot harder to learn how to sing than Fraulein Maria was making out. It would take weeks of learning from a master of music that they would have to employ. Surely it would take more than one nun turned governess strumming on her guitar with a soft smile on her face as if she knew what hard task she had decided to take on.

"_Do, Ray, Me_"

* * *

Louisa didn't say anything but she found to her surprise, that she was smiling as the song began.

Singing as it turned out was not as hard as it seemed. Actually what was more surprising was that they seemed to have a talent for it. They could each carry a note and Fraulein Maria justified it as a muscle that meant that they could expand on it and grow it. It was strange to think of it as this but Louisa found that she rather liked the sound of that.

* * *

The day came to an end however when they packed up their picnic and got the last train back to the town square and then walked chattering and laughing back up the main street and down the long winding roads towards the house that was isolated on the big imposing block of land and the gates that had for so long barred them in and were only now letting them out.

Dinner was a silent affair. But it had nothing to do with the kind of silence that came with the brooding presence of their father, but the silence that came when you were so tired you found that you were nodding off over the edge of your plate. Their meal was simple, chicken and boiled potatoes with broccoli and then a crème caramel but Louisa found that she was tired.

It was the end to one of the best days that they had had in a long time.

"I was wondering where you would like to go tomorrow?"

There was a pause as Louisa was shocked awake. She had thought about today as if it was a glorious day, the first day in a long time that she had felt something other than the grief and the loss and the anger that had been her day to day companions for so long. She had not expected another day.

Liesl spoke up first her voice betraying her excitement and her concern that this was a trap that they were being led into.

"Can we go shopping in the town tomorrow. We all have some money sent up from various family members that we don't see that much since…well…it would be nice to spend it before we get back to school, we could go to the sports shop, the book shop and clothes shop"

"We could send Telegraphs" Louisa muttered to Fredrich who inhaled half of his desert trying not to laugh.

"Chocolate!" Gretel shouted over Marta's cries of "Pink socks"

"Well that sounds marvellous. What a wonderful plan. And then if you want we can get some more material for some more play clothes. I think we could eat lunch in the gardens in the square as well"

They went to bed for the first time in a long time excited about the next day. Brigitta slid under the covers and after carefully composing a very long and complicated looking list of the books that she wanted to buy and perhaps have a quick flick through she turned the light off, muttered her prayers by candlelight and then slid into bed and was silently sleeping before her head hit the pillow.

Louisa stayed awake for a second. The door was locked and she wondered if she should unlock it like Gretel and Marta did so Fraulein Maria could come in and wish them goodnight.

As soon as she thought that she shook her head and cursed herself for being ridiculous. They'd had a good day, perhaps tomorrow would be an even better day. But the world had not changed that much, at some point their father would return and with him the rules and the uniforms and the orders. There wasn't much point in wishing for things to change. Louisa may as well appreciate what she was getting now.

And with that she blew out the candle, rolled over and fell asleep.

* * *

**And there it is, I hope you enjoy this chapter. **

**Next Chapter-Liesl, Louisa and the rest of the Von Trapps hit the town. Louisa and Liesl have a frank conversation about the later relationship with Rolfe and what it is to be a woman and the Von Trapp continues to practice their singing as they are given the chance to wear and buy new clothes. **


	5. Red Lipstick

**Hi, so here is another chapter, I apologise for the lateness of this chapter and I will hopefully get the next one updated sooner rather than later. I have recently started a new job and have been focused on that. If I don't update sooner then I will wait until Christmas and publish what I hope will be an multiple update then. **

**Disclaimer-Nothing is mine in this story. **

**Also an authors note: I have always said that I believe the Von Trapp children knew more about the rise of Adolf Hitler than the film let on. I have chosen to portray that in the character of Brigitta, Mein Kampf was a published book legitimately in the 1930s and I do believe that Brigitta would have read it and then burned it so the Captain wouldn't have seen it. Also a headcannon of mine if that Brigitta being the most well read of her siblings would have been the one with the political opinions and would have been the one most informed about what as going on. I know she is ten and I know she is young but when talking to Max I do believe it was Brigitta who acknowledged that the flag with the 'Black Spider' on it was hanging outside her house and would make their father mad. **

**Also Liesl. I do believe that she would have known about sex in this period and that she would be able to get contraception no matter how hard it would have been to get. I do believe that she was forced to become a woman a lot quicker than her sisters because she had no mother growing up. I do also believe that she would have had friends who married young because that was the norm for her. I also think at sixteen she would have wanted that even if she wasn't sure about her feelings for Rolfe. **

**These are my headcannons and If you don't share them than that is fine but you might want to give this chapter a miss. **

**Disclaimer-Nothing Is mine just this chapter and the headcannons, I share no political opinions or interest in the discourse. **

**Please Read and Review. **

**And I will try and update as soon as I can. **

* * *

That's My Story

Chapter 5-Red Lipstick

Liesl, Louisa and the rest of the Von Trapps hit the town. Liesl and Louisa have a chance to have a frank conversation about the latter's relationship with Rolf and what it means to be a woman and the Von Trapp children continue their singing practice as they are given the opportunity to wear and buy new clothes.

* * *

The week seemed to stretch out before them and before Louisa could grasp it, it was two weeks and the time had gone on and on forever. She found that she was sleeping so much better before, her head hitting the pillow as soon as she crawled underneath the warm covers and her sleep deep and warm. She found that she was clinging to the pillow as she slept and when she woke up it was to a deliciously sleepiness that she had never felt before.

Fraulein Maria in accordance with Frau Schmitt had ripped up their father's rulebook, gone where the days of long marches around the garden and the nightly readings and the bed by eight P.M. They were replaced by bedtime stories and singing and hot chocolate. The marches were replaced by shopping trips and visits around the town and drawing the fields and the trees around the mountains instead of imagining them.

Instead of shopping Fraulein Maria took them to a petting zoo in the town claiming that Sunday was not a day for shopping. They took mass in the little cathedral something that they all took seriously even the boys and then they followed her to the little zoo. Gretel, Marta and Kurt went into transports of delight when it came to petting the little lambs and the ducks and even Brigitta who had never been an animal person whatsoever had to hide how much she was enjoying herself. They had lunch under the clouds gathering and tried to guess the shapes of them and then when they went home it was with smiles on their faces and grass staining their knees.

Their diet got better as well. They were hungry children but their father had kept them on a military diet, no snaking or anything bad for them beyond desert. With Fraulein Maria the porridge for breakfast always came with fresh honey or warm rolls smothered in fresh butter. The milk was fresher because she changed delivery people and got if directly from the source. Lunch was either hot or cold but it was always made with fresh food and dinner was still the same three courses but they sat and talked about things they had done that day or things that they wanted to do instead of sitting in complete and total silence.

When it rained (and it did rain one Thursday) Fraulein Maria would have them in the study and she would strum her guitar. Liesl once asked her if she could play something having learnt in music at school and then emboldened by her little strumming on the wooden instrument she went to the piano that nobody had played since their mother had passed and began to play for the first time. Louisa would sketch and Brigitta would read, the children would play and Kurt and Friedrich would talk in hushed whispers about movie stars and scandalous things they had read in a copy of Vouge that Louisa knew they had flitch from Liesl—though how she had gotten a copy of _that _into the house Louisa genuinely did not know.

All in all Fraulein Maria acted the perfect role of a governess almost like a mother and Louisa found that living in this big house which had once been so unbearable was suddenly enjoyable. She found that she was no longer yearning for school so that she could be free of her ghosts but rather dreading it.

But there was nothing, _nothing_, that she dreaded more than the return of her father.

For when Captain Von Trapp returned it would be like sliding into melancholy. Like the house had died again, like all laughter and joy had to be smothered by a man who had never laughed since Louisa was a child. She found when she thought of that she hated him a little bit more even though she knew a daughter should never say that about her father.

Even the chance to see the _whore _as Liesl called the Baroness under her breath with an eye roll didn't make her feel better. This woman might make their father a little bit liveable but Louisa wondered if the shine would rub off like cheep tin when she caught sight of the seven children that would not respond well to a new mother even if she was dripping in pearls and spoke like sunshine—or whatever drivel people said to each other when they were in love.

She found that she wanted nothing more to hear than her father wasn't coming back for another month, hell for the whole of summer which seemed to stretch onwards with golden days. She even found herself thinking in these moments where she lay on her back and watched the sun shift between the clouds and the deep periwinkle blue of the sky where it showed through the creamy white, that she would be perfectly happy for her father to never darken their doorstep again because Louisa knew even if everyone (even Liesl) was silently hoping for a change to the man's demeanour, that he was never going to change and that she—for one—had completely given up trying.

* * *

It was on the following Saturday that Fraulein Maria finally gave into the pleas for shopping. There was only so much they could get away with in their own clothes and the play clothes needed a good long soak in the bath so they went out to the shops.

Immediately they were in dire straits. Gretel wanted chocolate, Marta wanted her pink socks and chocolate to boot and while the boys also wanted food they also wanted to go to the local sports shop for new football boots. Brigitta wanted to go to the book shop and told Fraulein Maria she was perfectly content to stay there while she went about her business. Louisa suspected that Brigitta was after books she knew the woman wouldn't approve off and to see if she could continue her subscription to the forbidden newspapers that reported on the situation happening in Germany and abroad. Liesl was after clothes and probably make up and all Louisa wanted was a good sketch book and some more charcoal pencils seeing as her last was too badly sharpened for her to do anything other than smudge it in one big mess.

Eventually Fraulein Maria decided to take those who wanted chocolate to get it. Brigitta they left at the book store with a feverish glint in her eyes and the promise of not going anywhere (not that she would, everyone of the Von Trapp children knew that the presence of books was enough to stop Brigitta in her tracks and make her happy for the rest of the day—coupled with the fact that she thought book burning should be punishable by hanging) and Liesl and Louisa went to the art store where Louisa could finally get the pencils that she wanted and some colourful looking chalk as well.

Then they went to the clothes store. She knew that Fraulein Maria had ordered bolts of fabric but all of the Von Trapp daughters were keen embroiders and they liked colourful fabric no matter how many times they had been forced to contend with the dull blue and grey of their uniforms and the pristine white of their sheets and bed covers.

Liesl went immediately to the make up counter and was soon in an animated discussion with some girl not much older than her about lipstick. Louisa found herself distracted by a coat that came with the soft black fur of an animal she couldn't name. It was so luxurious she wondered weather or not it was sinful. Looking at the price tag she supposed it was but the same fur was wrapped around some black leather gloves and without thinking about it she purchased it at the same time Liesl was purchasing a lipstick so red it was scandalous.

"Father is never going to let you wear that" she said flatly seeing the capped tube and the creamy ruby red matte surface. She saw the kohl stick as well being smuggled into Liesl's pocket and her sisters self satisfied grin.

"It's indecent"

"Father doesn't have to know" Liesl said smugly as they exited the shop. "By the way I didn't know you needed gloves"

"I don't, I just thought I may as well spend some of the guilt money were given as an afterthought"

"I know" Liesl said sounded supremely pleased with herself. "That's what I'm going to do. Now let me think, I have my hair curlers and my rollers and I don't need any more make up because my blush is still good and my clothes are ok…especially if Fraulein Maria is still ok with making them so…ah…I know what we both need"

And with that she crossed the street and went down a side street knocking on the door of a darkened shop that she seemed to know well Louisa hurrying behind her feeling rather foolish.

The woman at the counter seemed to know Liesl by name and she smiled handing Liesl a glass of pure white wine. Louisa felt very much like she had stepped through the Looking Glass. Was these one of those speakeasies she had read about? A den of iniquity?

"Oh don't be ridiculous" Liesl said when Louisa voiced this question. "It's a bra shop."

Oh.

"I need a fitting and so do you. You are thirteen little sister, and soon you will start your monthly bleeding. You need a bra. And trust me, you don't want to do what I had to do and do it alone" her face twisted at that and Louisa felt a flood of sympathy for her sister who had taken the dangerous step from girl to woman hood and who had, had to walk it alone.

And besides she was excited. She was thirteen, she was ready for this step.

But she was glad that she did not have to go it alone.

The woman made quick work of her, measuring her with gentle hands and Louisa's face burned a little but the girl, woman, the person no older than Liesl didn't comment. Instead she found herself with a silk bra with a small underlining and a little pink bow on the front. Louisa stood there in the mirror for a second looking at herself and found that she didn't know how to feel, only helplessly confused. She had wanted to be a woman since her birthday, had treated herself in her head as if she was a woman and now she was wearing her first bra she found that she would rather go back to the docile years of childhood rather than feel this confused.

Liesl seemed to pick up on that when she was paying and she slung a hand around her sister's shoulders as the bags swung on the edge of her arm. Louisa found herself unable to speak even as they went into another small shop and she was forced to wait outside as Liesl came out with a thoughtful expression and a small brown package under her arm that she wouldn't let anyone see.

"Is that for Rolfe?"

"No it's for me…well…I suppose it's for Rolfe too. I read about it in a magazine. It's…it's to prevent pregnancy" Liesl said in a rush.

"Bloody fucking hell" Louisa said unable to control her language. "You…are you going…to…are you?"

"I don't know" Liesl said finally and then she continued speaking as if she couldn't stop herself. "I kissed him before you know and he's stroked my hair and my hand and he thinks I'm a baby sometimes. He thinks is job is to protect me and yet when he talks sometimes I can see his eyes wandering and I think if I could do this for him, give him this then perhaps he would see me for me. Then we could get married and live happily ever after and I would have little blonde haired children and it wouldn't matter that father was cold because someone would love me"

"Married? But what about school?"

"Oh don't be stupid Louisa you don't need school if your married. Two of my friends have left because their father's found them husbands. One of them is pregnant already. What does it matter about school when someone like Rolfe can look at me and love me. it's not like there is a massive que behind him and father's never cared enough to think about the future, about my future, so I have to think about it myself"

Louisa couldn't think about what she was hearing, she could though because she knew deep down despite the moral implications of what was being said that her own future was on the cusp of the horizon too. Young marriages even in the 1930s were common and Liesl had looked after them since she had been ten. But the idea of not waking up to see Liesl in their shared bathroom or seeing her over breakfast or hearing the rhythmic thread of her sowing needle or the way she would sometimes take the heat for their father's rage was nothing short of terrifying, Louisa did not think that she was ready to become the big sister of the house just yet.

"When will you do it?" she asked finally.

"I haven't said I will" Liesl said finally her voice strained. "I just want to be prepared in case the moment takes us"

Louisa thought about this for a moment.

"If Rolfe loved you as much as you say he does he would wait and ask father's permission" she said finally.

Liesl rolled her eyes.

"Do you honestly think that would matter? Do you honestly think father would let me marry the pro-German telegraph boy?" she snapped.

"No" Louisa said thinking hard. "But at least then you could elope with a clean conscious."

Liesl laughed though it was a little bitter.

"Don't tell anyone Louisa please"

"Oh I wont, but I want you to tell me when you do it, or after it. I want to know everything Liesl, and I wont tell anyone about the lipstick or the cigarettes I know you keep in the draw with your bible"

Liesl laughed again. "God I need a lock on my draw. Still…better you find that out than the younger ones"

* * *

They met Fraulein Maria at the book shop. She eyed their bags with the logo from the underwear shop on them with contemplative eyes but she said nothing in response to Liesl's defiant stare. Instead she helped them all board the train and said nothing even as Brigitta immediately went for her new books.

Louisa caught the title of one.

"Why in the name of all that is holy are you reading Mein Kampf?"

"Because I want to know what the enemy is saying" Brigitta said finally. "As soon as I've read it it's going straight into the fire with the rest of the evil books that I've bought but if were heading towards a war I want to know what ideology is bringing it about. You don't have to understand Louisa, you and the rest of Austria can bury your head in the sand and pretend that we are not on Hitler's list of countries he wants to occupy but if German soldiers are going to walk the streets of my town I want to know the ideology behind it, I want to know what has captured this nation that still being blamed for the last war and then if I know I don't have to be afraid of it. I know who I am and what my father's politics are, I know what my own politics are, I know who I am and what I believe. Don't judge me for trying to understand the insanity that has gripped the world, everyone thinks at ten I am too young to understand what is happening to other ten year olds just because of how they look or their religion but I'm not."

Louisa leaned back stunned against the train seat and gave a little shrug. She buried her hands in her pockets and pretended that she didn't feel them shaking. How was it that in the space of an hour she had been attacked with knowledge about her older and her younger sister that made her feel so impossibly outnumbered. That made her feel young and broken and babyish. She owned a bra, Liesl was planning her future with a man that Louisa wouldn't have trusted as far as she could throw him and Brigitta was preparing for another world war.

How was it that all she had been worried about was weather or not her father would come home and ruin the fun she was having?

* * *

**And there you are, I hope you enjoy this story. Next chapter with any luck will come soon. **

**Next Chapter-The Von Trapp siblings day on the lake is interrupted by the return of their father and the reckoning Louisa always expected. However it doesn't end the way she had imagined it too. **


	6. Sometimes A Fantasy

**Hi, so here is the next chapter, again my apologies about the delay but I hope to have another chapter coming right after this one and then fingers crossed another in the new year. Also for those wondering at some point I will post a side shot to this story depicting Captain Von Trapp's thoughts in this scene. **

**Disclaimer-Nothing is mine. **

**Please Read and Review. **

* * *

That's My Story

Chapter 6-Sometimes A Fantasy

The Von Trapp sibling's day on the lake is interrupted by the return of their father and the reckoning that Louisa always expected. However, it doesn't end the way that she had imagined it would.

* * *

When it came it came without warning and so sudden that the whiplash would haunt them for months. They could sing now, they could laugh and run about and smile and laugh without it being high pitched or quickly stifled. They were sleeping better, eating better, enjoying food and fresh air and not cooped up all day. They had just gotten used to that, Louisa just as guilty as the next member of her siblings.

But she had known, despite the fact that she had begun to believe that things could be different, that it was coming. There was no way that they would get away with being happy this long. That their father would leave them alone until it was time for them to go back to school and time for him to return to his duties as the impressive, oppressive navel officer.

She had just not expected him to come back two weeks after he had left.

And why would she? The last time it had been a month, then there had been Christmas and it had been nearly three months as he had taken part in the Christmas Season in Vienna hanging on a widowed Baronesses arm and smiling at strangers who he didn't know and who didn't know her.

Of course now would be the time when he would come back. In tow with company.

The day had started out easy enough, they had gone for another long walk this time in their play clothes and Fraulein Maria was teaching them a song to sing for the Baroness. Louisa was happy to be out as it was one of those glorious days of summer where the sun was shining, there was a cloud in the sky and yet still the mountains were capped in snow and the breeze was fresh. She could see why people loved to visit this country so much and she had no trouble with singing, Liesl playing on the guitar. They had taken their stuff with them today and everyone was doing their own thing as they carried on the tune, Louisa was embroidering something that she believed (looking at the design) she had started around Christmas and just gotten board with. Now she had turned her attention to it her needle and thread making soothing sounds. It was amazing how aware she had become of her senses since this young woman (only a few years older than Liesl) had come into their lives. Already Louisa couldn't imagine life without her. Already she found that she was dreading it.

It was then that Fredrich suggested with a wicked grin and a wink, that they go and climb the trees that were lining the main road before they took the boat back home. Louisa felt a wave of longing run through her. She loved climbing trees, she loved the fact that she could easily get up one and hide in the leaves and see everything at a new angle. And more to the point she had loved the fact that she had always had to do it in secret as grass stains were hard to get out of those uniforms they had been forced to wear.

The trees were a nice decent hight and once Gretel and Marta were safely up one on the lowest branches she climbed her own without warning. They were cheering and shouting at each other watching Kurt attempt to use one hand to hang off them like a monkey when a car came by. From her own vantage point Louisa could see it contained one woman and two men and they were richly dressed. The car looked oddly familiar too though, she couldn't make out the model but she could damn well see the colour and she edged forwards a little just to see.

She couldn't see.

But she knew.

* * *

"Did you see the car come down the road?" she asked Brigitta as they eventually came down from the tree. Brigitta shot her a look. "There was a car?" she asked which confirmed to Louisa that her little sister had found the strongest tree that she could find, the sturdiest branch, made herself comfortable and then had opened her book and continued to read. She was now reading something about the situation in Ireland as Mein Kampf had gone like she had promised straight into the fire with a slightly nauseous look.

She turned to see Liesl watching the two of them with a rapidly cooling expression. She had seen something too and the eldest Von Trapp girls were rather cool as they got in the boat.

"It was him wasn't it?" Louisa asked very quietly as Liesl saw their younger siblings onto the boat and into the arms of their governess.

"Hard to tell" Liesl muttered. "I thought it was but…it looked like whoever was driving knew who we were. It could be Uncle Max and the Baroness come early with another friend. God knows we have no idea what he has been doing since he has been in Vienna. There could be a house party being planned for all we know" she twisted her mouth in a bitter smile that Louisa didn't understand. There was a lot about Liesl right now that she didn't understand.

"We should get home" Louisa said. "If it's Father returned lets not give him any more ammunition"

"Yes" Liesl said her expression tightening with some sort of emotion that Louisa couldn't properly explain or even begin to understand.

"Because" her sister continued as if Louisa was not there anymore. "If he tries anything I will not be held responsible for the things that I will say"

Louisa blinked climbing onboard the boat in silence. A fight between her sister and her father would have long lasting consequences not just for that relationship but also for their family. Perhaps it was biases but if she could she would put what little pocket money she had left on Liesl winning that fight. Her sister had one hell of a temper when it was set on fire. And when she went off heaven help who got in her way.

Of course that meant that everything that could go wrong did.

Naturally the boat capsized and they were all plunged into the rather cold lake.

And naturally their father had to be standing on the deck with an expression that would have made the ice on the mountains melt when they eventually clamoured out. Gretel gave a small moan and went to hide behind Liesl who raised her chin and met their father's expression head on. Louisa wondered what their father saw when he looked at them because the expression on Liesl's face was almost as frightening as the look on their fathers.

Louisa moved past him and was shocked to find when he ripped the headscarf of her head she was closed to tears. For a second his eyes met hers and then something in them seemed to deaden a bit more something of which Louisa couldn't believe. Surely her father had lost any emotion or any love in him that had survived.

She closed her eyes and tuned him out, tuned out the shouting and the sight of the woman standing there in furs and pearls. Louisa wanted to hit her. She wanted to hit her and shout at her and yet at the same time tell her to run because this wasn't the place for a woman such as the Baroness. She had probably seen all of the false smiles and the promises and the side of her father that would come out when the spotlight was on him. She had never seen the side of him that had ignored and belittled his children, that had treated them as the enemy for so long they were hungry for any crumb of kindness, anything other than the cold chill that permeated the big house.

She was dimly aware of Brigitta pushing them back to the house and she shuddered a little feeling something inside of her heave and break as they got back to their room. The books that Brigitta had left tumbled under the bedcovers were back in the box held under the bed. The newspapers, the fountain pen and the letters from corresponding people, the translations, everything that made Brigitta, Brigitta was going back into hiding because their father was back again. Louisa gave a heavy sigh and even though she wanted to do nothing but step into a hot bath and get the rain water out of her hair she found that she was also hiding her gloves, her new bra, the silk knickers Liesl had given her and the fresh creamy pad of paper and chalk she had bought. She would not give her father any ammunition to use against her.

She didn't want to think of the stuff Liesl was hiding.

They changed in silence into their grey uniforms that had been hiding at the back of their wardrobe. Neither one of them commentated on the changes in their sartorial choices. Their father had only been back five minutes and already they were falling back into old patterns. It was like this everytime.

And this time Louisa knew was going to be worse because she imagined that their father wouldn't let their governess stay even until dinner.

For that she knew she was going to hate him for a very long time.

They met Liesl at the stairs with their brothers and younger sisters. She was clutching the guitar with a tight grip and an unnerving expression.

"We prepared a song" she said with a sly grin. "Were going to sing it."

"Is that wise?" Kurt said quietly. "He's in a foul temper Liesl"

"So what if he is" Louisa said before she could stop herself. "We planned for this, we knew this was coming, let's make a stand now. I'm…I'm tired of it. Let's sing and if he wants to punish us let's set Liesl on him." At this point her sister gave a grin that was half feral.

There was a pause where she stood there and she felt Friedrich's arm come around her waist.

"I agree" he said surprising everyone. "Let's go and sing our song. Father cannot object in front of the Baroness. And if he does…well…she'll go and then that's one problem dealt with." He teetered on the edge of speech as if to say that he didn't want a new mother anymore than any of them did but at the last minute his courage failed him and he proceeded to lead the rest of them down the stairs. Liesl ran a hand over her face and then followed her whole body tight and ready for the fight that she was so sure was coming after the fight.

It never came.

* * *

The second the voice entered the song Louisa felt her blood freeze and then without warning the memories she had tried so long to bury came flooding back to the surface. She was aware in a way she had never been aware before of every part of her body. She knew that there was something happening here that ensured that this house would never be the same again.

Their father was singing.

Louisa remembered as though it was yesterday that he used to do that while they were sleeping. He would rock them to sleep, her Liesl, Friedrich, Brigitta, Kurt—they were children who could remember it and she paused as the memories of her childhood—of her happy childhood assaulted her. Of laughter and joy and of them simply being children. Of their mother's smile and summers that seemed to go on forever.

Their father was singing with them and Louisa was dimly aware of Liesl nearly dropping the guitar in shock. She couldn't believe that this was happening. Louisa could hardly believe this was happening herself.

The song slowly came to a stop and it seemed like the world itself had stopped breathing. Like the whole existence off the seven of them in this room had come to this, had come to what their father was going to do in this moment when he was face to face with them and (judging by his expression) seeing them for the first time.

He did something most surprising.

He opened up his arms as if all he wanted was a hug.

Gretel moved first into his arms, followed by Marta and Kurt. Brigitta was somewhere on the left and Louisa could feel her father's arms around her though she was too stunned to do anything about it. She couldn't even in this moment think about what was going to happen next. She saw without seeing her father clap Fredrich on the shoulder a sign of greeting from one man to the next and then run his hand down Liesl's face as if he wanted to remember what she looked like. Liesl looked just as stunned as Louisa felt and her mouth was hanging slightly open.

Louisa felt eyes on her and she saw Fraulein Maria standing there dripping wet with an expression of deepest tenderness on her face. She smiled at Louisa and Louisa forced a smile onto her face as her baby sister went to the Baroness to hand her a posy of flowers and their father went after their governess.

Louisa took some lemonade offered by Frau Schmitt but she could feel her teeth chatter around the glass and her eyes water.

She had no idea what was happening or what would happen now.

She put her glass back on the table.

She had no idea what would happen now.

* * *

**With any luck another chapter will follow this one so stay tuned. **

**Next Chapter-The Von Trapp children adapt to the new change in circumstances, there is a ball, and just when Louisa thinks that things might be going alright she wakes up to something terrible. **


	7. Remember The Time

**Hi, so here is the second update. I will hopefully update again before 2020 but if i dont i wish all of my readers a very happy Christmas and a very happy and safe start to 2020. **

**Disclaimer-Nothing in this story is mine. **

**Please Read and Review. **

**I noticed there have been some issues with spelling in a couple of chapters, i am trying to correct myself as i go along but grammar and spelling have never been my strongest suit so please keep that in mind as you read. Any major inaccuracies and i do apologise. **

**And a very short author's note from this time. **

* * *

That's My Story

Chapter 7-Remember The Time.

The Von Trapp children adapt to the new change in circumstances, there is a ball, and just when Louisa thinks that things might be going alright she wakes up to something terrible.

* * *

It was a hard thing to believe in.

Hope.

Hope was not something Louisa Von Trapp had ever believed in. Until Fraulein Maria had arrived change was not something she had ever believed in either.

And yet here they were.

The whole thing was rather amazing.

The change that had come over their father since he had stood there with them singing. Louisa had never experienced anything like it before. She had never seen their father as he had been in these last few weeks. She had not seen the easy laughing, the hugs and the kisses, the fact that he was now seeing them for the first time rather than dismissing them. It was something that was heady and intoxicating and something that Louisa could remember but yet could not remember.

What was startling was how everyone behaved. Even Liesl who she remembered vividly as wanting nothing more to do than to shout and scream and protect them. Liesl who was blossoming under their father's love as she had never blossomed before. Friedrich was puffed up with some sort of mannish pride that she wanted to mock him for. Kurt, Marta and Gretel were hanging of his arm as if he was the best thing they had ever seen. Even Brigitta was putting down her books. She had asked him once over the dinner table weather or not he knew what was happening in Europe and their father had told her with an indulgent smile that yes he was aware but that he would tell them if there was anything worry about.

Louisa couldn't remember the last time their father had thought that anything they had wanted to know the answer about was worthwhile. Actually come to think about it she couldn't remember the last time that her father had smiled in the presence of any of his children.

So yes, this whole thing was unnerving.

The first thing to go was the uniforms. The summer dresses were back. And then ball room was being used for a puppet show. The Baroness was laughing alongside them at the dinner table and the breakfast had been pushed back an hour. They went out the seven siblings and they came back to a father that didn't judge them for having fun nor blame them for it.

All in all it was a great improvement on what their life had been before.

So why was it that Louisa couldn't let the sleeping dogs lie? Why was it that she was waiting constantly for something to happen? For something to bring her back to reality. Their father would leave, the Baroness would leave, their governess would leave? Something was bound to happen. Because this was not normal. This was really not normal.

Not normal for this house anyway.

The Baroness was a strange woman. Strangely enough Louisa felt like she could understand her. She had no interest in being a mother, that much was apparent after the first day. She had political opinions that made Brigitta's head snap up over the dinner table with an appalled expression (though she kept her mouth shut out of habit) and she had no interest in their father's money.

In fact the one thing that the Baroness seemed to care about was maintaining her social standing. It was if she clung to that to keep her afloat. Surprisingly enough Louisa could understand that. Surprisingly enough she could emphasise with that. What that meant for her she wasn't sure but she knew that she could understand wanting a big house without seven children and a governess attached. Especially with something building on the horizon. Louisa knew this about her father—regardless of how or where or which side he had fought on in the Great War, he was sure as shit not going to fight for Adolf Hitler if the world was plunged into a second one. Of that Louisa could say she was one hundred percent confident on. But that didn't mean she didn't find the rest of his behaviour strange or confusing.

She guessed that was just the way it was.

* * *

They had just finished their puppet show when Fraulein Maria with a shy smile brought forward her guitar with a slow, quiet comment about how she had once heard that their father could play and sing. Louisa had to shut her eyes because the memories of her childhood were back. She was getting better and better at shutting them out but sometimes they would creep back in. The memories that she had tried so hard to forget and that would come back time and time again.

Edelweiss was an old love song that their father had once sang with pride. There had been many, many moments of their childhood (before their mother had died—before their lives had turned to shit) where that song had rocked them to sleep. Liesl in her green dress was hanging off every note sung. Louisa watching her thought that she had changed her tune rather rapidly all things considering. It made Louisa want to smack her though she admitted that if she did that Liesl would just smack back.

Such was the contradictory way of sisters she supposed.

Anyway she sat there and tried her best to pretend that she was not near tears while her father was singing to her. She didn't want to admit just how much she wanted this to continue. Because deep down Louisa Von Trapp knew it wouldn't. She knew that she was singing in the wind when it came to this…feeling…she didn't trust it…right now she wasn't sure she ever would.

And then the Baroness, decked out in silk and pearls and a perfect hairstyle that would have made a Hollywood actress (the kind who Liesl had pinned up against her wall) weep suggested that they throw a party. To celebrate their father's coming back to society. It was on the tip of Louisa's tongue to ask just what in the name of all that was good and holy was their father doing when he was with her in Vienna for months at a time if he was not back in society. Whatever that meant.

Fortunately (or not fortunately considering) Fraulein Maria answered for them over the cheers from the younger children. She said that would be lovely and she'd be willing to help. Louisa wondered as they were ushered from the room (somethings it seemed never did change) if the Baroness would like that. Certainly her eyes seemed to be on Fraulein Maria whenever she thought the other woman was not looking. There was something happening that Louisa couldn't understand between soft smiles and singing and preparing for a party.

* * *

She had to admit that she did enjoy getting ready for it. Nothing like this had happened in living memory within this house and as she rolled her blonde hair into curlers and helped Brigitta attempt to tame her own raven hair with some flowers she couldn't help but be excited. She even in the privacy of their bathroom put on the pink silk bra and she thought that she could see the difference underneath her dress. Maybe this was when she became a woman? She was thirteen—she was excited to begin her life.

Or maybe she was just kidding herself.

Liesl got to her just as she was coming out of her own room. Liesl was the only one of them that didn't have to share a room and it was clear that she had been prepping for this ball most of the day. She had left her red lipstick out but her eyes were lined with the kohl pencil she had bought and her cheeks shimmered with some sort of dusty pink highlight. It was nothing major unless you were looking for it and their father would never think to look.

Well…their old father wouldn't. Who knew what this new version would do?

Liesl grinned uncapping the pencil and deftly adding a few strokes under and on top of Louisa's eyes. Actually looking in the mirror it made her eyes look bigger and bit more mysterious. Louisa had a sudden image of what she might look in three years time when she was Liesl's age and the young men, telegraph boys amongst them would come a courting. She imagined what that must be like, what it must be like to know that your world was on the edge of changing. To be young and free and beautiful and she found that despite it all she didn't want her father to change but rather to stay happy and free and laughing for a very, very long time.

Even if that meant the constant presence of the Baroness.

"Liesl" she said finally into the silence of the room as Liesl sprayed some of her rose water on her wrists and throat and under her ears. "Do you think it is possible to forgive?"

Liesl didn't even try to hide the fact that she knew what or more importantly who Louisa was talking about shifted her head to the side so she could stare at herself in the mirror.

"I've thought about it" she said quietly. "I have, I think…I think if the Baroness is good for him, if this persists, I think I could forgive him for it all. I've never been very good at hating him I've just wanted him to be happy. And if we were to gain a new mother then perhaps I could stop trying to be all of yours. If he gave me that. A chance to be me, a chance to be free, a chance to love then I think I would forgive him anything"

"Even all the times that he left us alone?"

"Yes even them. I think he regrets it to. Sometimes I see him looking at us as if he couldn't believe his eyes. I think he doesn't want to see what's in front of him, how much he's missed."

Louisa considered that for a very long time.

* * *

She was still considering it when she went down the stairs into the ballroom. They had been practising a song to sing and they'd had a chance to mingle after dinner. After the dancing, after their father had took their governess in his arms and danced like he was twenty and the world was golden and the Emperor might make an appearance any minute. The Baroness had watched them as well with a contemplative look in her eye, dripping with silk and diamonds and feathers and yet still looking like she was out of place amongst all the finery and the glitter and the glamour of the evening.

Louisa had just took a sip of raspberry cordial when she saw their father move very quickly over to Liesl who was deep in conversation with a young solider. One look from their father and he was gone sharpish like he had been told he had to get to his post with no haste. Louisa thought she could understand it a little bit. What it must be like to have your eyes closed for so long and then open them and the whole world was different.

She noticed Brigitta was giving a tall man whose name she thought was German a strange look. Herr Zeller something was staring at the Austrian flag with as much a disgruntled expression as Brigitta was staring at him. Louisa paid it no mind. She supposed Herr Zeller was German. Chances are Brigitta was just being funny because she couldn't interrogate him about just what his country was doing.

Actually she wouldn't put it past Brigitta to try.

Their song was a success and afterwards they went to bed.

Louisa ran a brush through her blonde hair and thought to herself that the night had gone well and that there might be some hope for everything to turn out good. That they could be happy, that even the Baroness could help. She couldn't shake the look that her father and Fraulein Maria had given each other either. She couldn't shake the fact that there was something in that look that was shimmering under the surface.

Her last thought as she wiped her face, said her prayers, brushed her teeth and climbed into bed was wouldn't it be nice if they could all get along, if things could remain like this for ever and ever and ever.

She fell asleep thinking of that dance and that look though her father had been replaced with a tall gentleman with an unknown face and she dressed in gold silk like the Baroness with her mother's jewels in her hair and the promise of a future as gold and as glittering as the display of wealth she had seen tonight.

Perhaps things were looking up, perhaps nothing could go wrong.

When Louisa Von Trapp woke up the next morning it was to the news that Fraulein Maria had left them.

* * *

**And there you are. I hope you all enjoy. I hope to see you soon. **

**Next Chapter-Louisa feels betrayed beyond anythign she has ever felt before. The Von Trapps get news that the Baroness is to be their new mother. And a trip to town gains little results. **


	8. Vanished

**Hi, so here is the update i promised for New Years, it is done i am exhausted but here it is. I hope you all enjoy. **

**Also i have changed the spelling of Gretl's name, i realised upon completing the last chapter that i might have been spelling it wrong, spelling for me is difficult so i do apologise for this error and i promise you it will not happen again. **

**Disclaimer-Nothing here is mine. **

**Please Read and Review. **

**And I wish you all a wonderful 2020! **

* * *

That's My Story

Chapter 8-Vanished.

Louisa feels betrayed beyond anything she has ever felt before. The Von Trapp's get the news that the Baroness is to be their new mother. And a trip to town gains little results.

* * *

For a second she couldn't breathe. She found out that they were alone from Liesl who then had the hardest job of breaking it to the children leaving Louisa standing next to Fredrich who had much the same expression on his face as she knew she did. She couldn't comprehend what was going on. She couldn't comprehend it whatsoever. She had known that this was coming, had told herself enough times that this was coming and yet now when she was faced with what was going on she found that she had been woefully unprepared.

Because Louisa had believed that the young woman who had come into their lives and turned it upside down would stay.

God how stupid had she been.

And suddenly a fury she had never felt before ripped through her.

But it didn't last.

It never bloody lasted.

Underneath the anger there was hurt. A blindingly painful hurt that just couldn't stop spreading all over her skin like flames. She had not expected this to happen. Louisa realised that at some point despite all her worries she had expected the other woman to stay with them. Regardless of the history that had gone before, regardless of all the other governesses that had gone before and regardless of the now permendant (or so it seemed) presence of the Baroness, Louisa had expected—deep—down Fraulein Maria to remain with them.

Why she had started to believe in something when time and time again she was proved wrong was a conversation for another day, but she had known that it would all come crashing down around her.

They were subdued over breakfast. It seemed that things with their father had not changed that much either which was more salt on the wound as far as Louisa was concerned. The Baroness preferred to eat breakfast late and in bed to boot (and Louisa knew if any of them tried that they would probably not get breakfast at all) and their father was too busy reading the newspaper with a rather worried frown on his face, to notice the habitual silence of his children.

Louisa could see that the image on the front of the newspaper was of that Hitler man and she could read the headlines to know that he was talking of the German people in Austria who wanted to be ruled by their home people (whatever the hell that meant) but she decided now was not the time to ask the questions she wanted to know the answers too and instead buried her head into her eggs and ate in silence out of necessity rather than hunger.

They silently went outside. The Baroness attempted to play with them but her heart was not in it and very quickly she went back to their father and the pink lemonade and the gin cocktails that had been provided for them. Louisa thought she could understand it somehow. The Baroness did not want to be a mother but she clearly loved a man who had seven children. She had banked on their father remaining the same, cold calculated man she had met in Vienna with enough damage so she would never have to try hard to be liked and enough money where she could sit on her veranda and drink to her hearts content. Louisa wondered if she actually knew what was going on in this world or if she really cared who ran the country. She doubted somewhat that the Baroness even knew their names. She was not a woman to whip out an instrument and start singing Louisa knew that much. She was also not a woman who would let her husbands political feeling influence her comfortable lifestyle.

Louisa knew her father well enough to know that he would not serve under the Nazi party. He would not blindly follow the drum that said all the world must be German. He was Austrian through and through, he had been decorated by the Austrian Emperor. He had fought for Austria in the Great War. He was not going to change his mind on something so fundamental as his identity and the national identity of his children. Every one of them from Kurt who understood that the world was changing, to Brigitta who was probably the most informed member of the family, to Louisa, to Friedrich who was itching to go to war like most young boys were and Liesl who might know more than anyone which way the wind was blowing, knew that.

She only hoped the Baroness got the picture before the two of them decided to do something rash.

Like marry.

It seemed however that she was wrong on that account again as well.

* * *

"A new mother?" Friedrich exploded.

They had managed to get to the far end of the park where the trees were thick. Kurt had immediately climbed one pulling Gretl up with him and onto his lap. Louisa was distracted somewhat thinking about weather or not the branch they were sat upon would hold the weight of two people for long but she turned to see her brother pacing up and down anger in every line of his body, hands clasped behind his back and his blonde hair blowing with the breeze.

"It cannot be a shock to you Friedrich" Liesl said in that soothing voice she had adopted since childhood where she had walked the thin line between mother and older sister. "We all knew this was coming for months. He's talked about nothing else but her for a while"

"I know but…I didn't think he would do it!" Friedrich said aiming his feelings by kicking some leaves that were stacked neatly in a pile. Louisa sighed leaning back against the tree and not caring if she got stains on her jacket. Yesterday everything had seemed so perfect and yet now the whole world had gone topsy-turvy again in the space of one night.

"Didn't you?" Kurt asked his face scrunched in confusion. "I thought it was a forgone conclusion. And anyway what does it matter. In a few weeks the summer will be over and we will be back at school. And if she keeps him in a good mood then…"

"She didn't put him in a good mood, Fraulein Maria did."

That was Brigitta who was sat with her knees to her chin and her hand propping up her head. She was staring out over the lake with a rather morose expression though with Brigitta it was hard to tell weather or not that was because of the events taking place within their family or the events that seemed to be taking place all over the world.

"Do you think maybe we could get her to come back?"

That was Marta speaking up. Liesl was running a hand through the black strands of hair and Louisa was suddenly struck with how Liesl would look as a mother, the resemblance between her and their own mother was suddenly shocking because out of all of them Liesl had been the one had looked more like their father. Their mother had been blonde and Louisa, Friedrich, Kurt and Gretl had been the ones who had looked like her. The three other girls had inherited their father's dark looks.

Pulling herself away from the vision of the future that she had thought she had just seen Louisa turned to stare across the lake as she thought about what Marta had said. Could they get her back? Did they even want her back? After she had abandoned them like a thief in the night?

The answer was still the same. Yes.

But Louisa didn't want to be happy about it either.

"Can we really do that though?" Friedrich asked. "I mean…it's it immoral to get between a nun and her vocation? She's gone back to the nunnery for a reason after all. Perhaps her calling to God was greater?"

There was a very pregnant pause as they all thought about that. Louisa shook her head feeling her blonde hair shift a little down her back. Theology was for a classroom when the rain was pouring down and she was in school it was not for a day like today.

"If that's the truth then she can tell us herself. I don't see why we should hear the information second hand. If she does want to be her nun and feels her vocation is strong then we can all respect that. But if there is any doubt then I believe she should know that we would like her to return. I don't see what's wrong with that message going across"

She spoke to the lake but she knew that her siblings were listening to her.

She forced herself to turn around.

"So when do we go?"

"What now?" Liesl asked sitting up and looking rather surprised. Louisa resisted the urge to roll her eyes. "Yes now Liesl when did you expect? The more we leave it the harder it's going to be, besides if she does want to come back shouldn't we tell her before she takes a vow or whatever it is that nuns do before they become nuns?"

"But…" And Liesl turned around to peer back at the house as if expecting their father to stalk through the trees towards them like some angry predator.

Louisa sighed resisting the urge to stomp her foot.

"He doesn't care" she said softly. "He never has and besides he's got the Baroness now. What does he care if we go into town? Besides if he asks he can hardly be upset that we went to pray. God knows there are worse things that we could be doing"

"Diabolical" Brigitta said flashing her a grin. "Brilliant but diabolical. It's true of course but how do we get past the gates?"

"We walk through them like free citizens in a free country" Louisa deadpanned. "We are not criminals or prisoners. We can go to town regardless of weather or not father wants us too"

There was another pause. Liesl nodded standing up and brushing the grass from her apron. Louisa refrained from rolling her eyes with immense difficulty. Typically her sister would take care in her appearance, smoothing down her hair and making sure their sisters were dressed smartly. They were going to a nunnery not the Mayor's house for all that was good in this world, she doubted very much that the nuns cared what they would be wearing.

* * *

Actually it was a lot easier getting the abbey than Louisa had expected it too. Half of her had been expecting Fritz to descend upon them like the bat that he was as soon as they had left the garden but they had managed to sneak in and out of the house with nobody noticing they were gone.

Actually it was rather depressing, the sense of rebellion that had sustained them for so long was—at least for Louisa gone. The walk was silent and had it not been for Liesl then Louisa was convinced on more than one occasion they would have gotten lost. Instead they carried on until they reached the great gates of the abbey walls. Louisa who did not wish to be irreverent or disrespectful couldn't understand how someone would want to be walled up in a big stone house like that one. She preferred the freedom she had gained even if she had to fight for it. Especially if she had to fight for it.

There was a pause where she stood there. Liesl did much of the talking over the pleas of the little ones, but to no avail. The gates were closed on them and Louisa felt an unnatural shiver as the iron clanged against iron and the nun with her lined face and smile that Louisa wanted to smack off (if she was that way inclined) disappeared into another winding corridor and down some stone steps. They were left in silence, alone. There was nothing to be done, nothing they could do. There was no point to any of it anymore. They had fought and they had lost.

* * *

They went back to the house in silence, Louisa tuned out their father as he saw right through them and she only halfway listened as Brigitta decided to sing, her voice mixing in with Liesl's as they sang about their favourite things. Louisa joined in but her heart was in it even as they heard a voice and saw the woman in the green dress carrying the guitar come towards them.

Louisa let her hug her, let her say her peace to their clearly stunned father and as they ran inside chatting and laughing she ducked into the ball room and forced her knuckles into her mouth to hide the sobs that she could feel building. She wanted nothing more to do but to cry but her pride was stronger than that. She couldn't cry. She couldn't cry at all. She was thirteen now not a baby. And besides everything had worked out hadn't it?

So why didn't she feel better?

* * *

**And there you are, let me know what you think and i will try to update as soon as possible. **

**Next Chapter-The Von Trapps adapt to Maria's return, the Baroness shares a moment with Louisa and Louisa has some questions she wants some answers too, especially after she hears there is to be another wedding. **


	9. When It Hurts So Bad

**Hi, so here is another chapter, I am back at work so therefore updates of the final six chapters might be a bit slower than before. **

**Disclaimer-Nothing is mine other than this chapter. **

**I so enjoyed writing the Baroness I have to admit, while I have always considered her to a bit of a bitch I found that adding another layer to her and presenting her as a woman who just wanted to stay in the world she'd fought for rather interesting. **

**Please Read and Review and let me know what you think anyway. **

* * *

That's My Story

Chapter 9-When It Hurts So Bad.

The Von Trapp children adapt to Maria's return, the Baroness shares a moment with Louisa and Louisa has some questions she wants some answers too, especially after she hears there is to be another wedding.

* * *

Dinner was still a subdued affair. The added presence of their governess as well as the woman their father had announced that he was going to marry at the table sent most of them into silence. Well, all except the younger children who of course were thrilled to see her again. Louisa ate with all the manners that she had been trained to have but she barely tasted her chicken pie or the cake that came after it. She barely listened to the conversation or the way that the Baroness seemed to sit back in her chair and watch the conversation flow between her father and her governess as if it was an interesting tennis match and she had no idea who was going to win, or even there would be a winner. She did not see Liesl's head shoot up everytime Fritz came in as if she was expecting Rolfe to turn up having not done so (not that Louisa knew) since that day where they had come out of the lake and Rolfe had made his choice about weather or not he was a supporter of the Nazi's or not.

Had she known that she might have felt some sympathy for her sister. However she found that she was too caught up with her own emotions and she had been working too hard to hide them and therefore she missed it.

* * *

They went to bed and Louisa slipped under the thick covers ignoring Brigitta's chatter. Her little sister stayed up reading by the light of one candle and when she fell asleep only then did Louisa sit up and lean back against the headboard. She went to the window and peered out through the heavy curtains seeing what was there. There was a big creamy moon that reflected over the lake and the brightness seemed to make everything bigger and brighter. The ripples of the lake were serene and tranquil and there was a breeze that even from her window Louisa could see had made the grass ruffle.

The whole scene was serene, like something out of a picture book and looking out the window at her home Louisa couldn't help but wonder even with this great crisis of their affairs that she was struggling to understand how everything could be so peaceful and tranquil and yet parts of the world were imploding.

She forced herself to watch again and she saw the shadow move across the rippling grass. She peered even closer ignoring Brigitta's moan as the moonlight hit her face. She could see the slender form of a woman in a green dress dart down the stone steps and onto the grass, darting away until she was far enough that Louisa couldn't see her. It was Fraulein Maria and she was going to the gazebo that had hosted Liesl's first kiss. Louisa watched with interest for a second and then she saw the second figure of a man come down the stone steps and follow her. Her eyes widened. Unless Fritz had a sudden urge to go for a walk(a fact that years of knowledge told her was highly unlikely)or Uncle Max had decided to go (also unlikely as he had been too busy drinking his weight in champagne the last time that she had seen him) then she knew who that man was.

What he was doing and what he was after was another story entirely.

There was another heartbeat of pause before Louisa let the curtain fall shrouding the room in darkness again and moved to sit on the bed. She had no idea what had transpired in the last half an hour or so but she wanted to know. She reached for her boots, the soft and extremely worn brown leather that needed to be replaced at some point and then she forced them onto her feat reaching for the brown shawl that she kept for when the nights were cold and the wind raged around the house and the fires died out before they were asleep.

She didn't feel remotely tired right now. All she felt was just a burning curiosity to find out what was going on. She roughly pulled her hair from the sleeping braid she had tied it in and with the blonde strands falling over her shoulder she ran down the stairs and to the front door.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you" said a voice and she turned her hand on the brass, her back up against the white wood to see the Baroness standing in the shadow of the parlour room. She was still dressed as gentle and as delicate as she always was though the way she was leaning against the wood told Louisa that she had been indulging in a few more gins than she usually did.

"There going to be a while I imagine" she continued and then she turned back to the room and despite everything Louisa followed her curling up on the sofa despite the fact her boots were scuffing the silk covers.

The Baroness poured herself a liberal amount of gin.

They were alone.

Louisa was right. Something had happened here.

"I will be leaving in the morning" she said and then she passed a glass of lemonade (or what she hoped was lemonade) towards Louisa.

"And I doubt we will ever see each other again. Your father's liaison with me is at an end"

Louisa nodded not sure what to say to that. The Baroness eyed her critically.

"I would have thought you would be glad" she said softly. "I never got the impression you wanted me"

"Funny" Louisa said finally. "We never got the impression you wanted us"

The Baroness laughed taking another long swig of gin and pouring herself another.

"You have a wit Louisa you know, don't let anyone take that away from you"

Louisa took a sip of the lemonade.

"Is he declaring his love for Fraulein Maria then?" she asked and the Baroness nodded.

"Yes" she said finally. "I had to admit I never expected to be bested by her…but she loves him, and she loves you, she'd make a great mother to you and I wouldn't. Oh don't get me wrong" she said to Louisa. "I don't mind you it's you, motherhood was never something I wanted. I had the chance with my first husband you know but it was arranged marriage—well all marriages were at that time and love never really did grow, I learnt however that the material things could mean more. I never had children and I never knew if it was me or him that was the problem. And of course at that time divorce was not an option—the stigma is still there naturally but back then—and when he died he left me with a probable jaded outlook and a great deal of money which I suppose is all that I have to guard now."

She sighed tapping her finger against the glass. Louisa couldn't help the fact that she was riveted despite really not wanting to bed.

"I suppose you must think that I am selfish"

Louisa shrugged. The Baroness gave a soft laugh.

"It's easy for you to judge" she said finally. "But you don't understand, I never had half of what you had, everything I have I've earned or taken or bought. I've fought for things that you would think silly. Your father's love is something I know I cannot get so I won't but up a fight for it"

"He wont stay if Hitler invades" Louisa said finally. "You'd have lost it all anyway"

The Baroness nodded. "I know" she said. "And I am as Austrian as your father and I deplore the Nazi's and their ideology but I don't see a way to prevent it, as Max says what's going to happen will happen. The United States could stop it but they won't, Britain and France will but they haven't the manpower, not anymore. The scars and the smoke are still there from the before. I'm not the type to stay and fight, I will take extended vacations until I cannot. I know that I am that kind of woman too"

Louisa stared at her and then finally she voiced her sister's concerns.

"Is there going to be a war Baroness?"

The Baroness lit her cigar and let out a long puff of smoke before she responded. She seemed to be thinking hard.

"It feels like it did the last time" she said finally her voice so soft that Louisa had to strain to hear her. "And the world is a different place now."

She stood up smoothing down her silk skirt and she curled one hand around Louisa's chin so that the two of them blonde hair shining in the lamplight were facing each other. There was a pause where she stood there looking down at Louisa.

"I wish you and your brothers and sister's good fortune Louisa. And if I leave you with any advice for years to come then let it be this—never let a man come between you and what you want, and be honest. Life is long and hard and women can find pleasure if they want but honesty is something that you need to have. Also fight, fight for what you want weather it be a man or a string of pearls because regrets are wasted things. Horrible things"

She stood up and moved to the door, Louisa turned still processing what she was saying.

"Also" the Baroness said with a grin. "You might want to tell your eldest sister that if she wants to have sex I wouldn't do it with that telegraph boy, he's a walking Nazi even now. Not worth the hassle."

She turned and walked out the door without a backwards glance or a goodbye and Louisa knew that it was the last time that she would ever see her again.

She couldn't help but feel mixed emotions about that.

She waited ten minutes until she had finished her lemonade and then she walked upstairs, kicked of her boots and slipped into bed staring at the ceiling and wondering what tomorrow would bring now that their new mother was to be completely different to the one that they had all expected her to be.

* * *

"Married?" Liesl said her eyes wide. The younger ones had gone wild at the news, Brigitta and Kurt included but Louisa, Fredrich and Liesl were leaning against the wall watching.

The Baroness had gone early in the morning. She had not said goodbye and Louisa had not expected her too. She hadn't had chance to pass on her message to Liesl who was staring with an amazed expression at their father who was looking even younger than he had done recently.

Finally Louisa got her voice to work.

"Congratulations" she said finally.

That seemed to snap the other two out of it.

Fortunately that gave Louisa a chance to sit at the table.

"Do you wish to say something Louisa?"

The knock on her door came as she was getting changed. She was already in her best frock and she was attempting to do something—anything—with her hair when her governess—no her new mother popped her head around the door. Louisa turned to her and the question she desperately wanted to ask came out of her before she could stop herself.

"Are you going to leave us again?"

"No" came the gentle reply. "Let me tell you something"

And Louisa turned listening to the story of Fraulein Maria and the Captain and how they had fallen in love and how she, the thirteen year old girl who had thought she knew so much had missed it. She bit her bottom lip when she was done and she thought that she was more confused than ever but perhaps that was alright…perhaps she would even manage to feel that way about someone one day.

* * *

She came downstairs to see Liesl by the mirror fixing her hair, they were all to go out to dinner in town to celebrate and her sister had promptly ran upstairs to command the bath, the hair rollers and to agonise of what was her best dress. She was in a light blue dress with a blue coat over it in comparison to Louisa's red dress and Brigitta in green. Liesl had apparently decided to forgo the red lipstick but she was wearing her eyeliner and some rouge. How long she would get away with that now there was to be a new mother in the house Louisa did not know.

Under her breath she relayed the Baronesses message.

"Rolfe is not a German sympathiser" she said finally under her breath, "And just so you know we have no discussions since that night he kissed me."

She flounced off and Louisa watched her go critically wondering if it was just her that heard the worry and wondering if she should stop her sister before she went down a path that she could potentially not come back from.

Instead she reached for her coat and put her hat on her head and then stepped out of the house and down the path with her family wondering just what they had gotten into this time and if…Maria…had been right when she had promised that everything was going to be alright and that she would never leave them and that love and happiness would return to the Von Trapp household.

Well, she supposed they had a wedding to plan for didn't they?

* * *

**And there you are, I hope you all enjoy and I will update hopefully sooner rather than later. **

**Next Chapter-The Von Trapp girls are preparing for the wedding and helping out, there is some teasing and talking about boys and the Von Trapp children see their new family off on their honeymoon as time for their country, finally runs out. **


	10. Till I Hear It From You

**Hi, so here is another chapter, we only now have five chapters left of this story! I did want to publish this sooner but I caught the dreaded January cold and therefore everything had to be pushed back a week. I hope you all enjoy this story. **

**The last scene might not be as historically accurate as i had hoped it would be as this part of history is not something i had studied before however I have tried to make it as accurate as i could. **

**Disclaimer-Nothing is mine just this chapter as I always say. **

* * *

That's My Story

Chapter 10-Till I Hear It From You.

The Von Trapp girls are preparing for the wedding and helping out. There is some teasing and talking about boys and the Von Trapp children see their new family off on their honeymoon as time for their country finally runs out.

* * *

The wedding preparations took them to the end of the month. It was hard for Louisa to believe that she was only four weeks away from school when it would all be finished it seemed like the summer had stretched on forever instead of the three months that they had gotten. Her father planned for a month in Paris that would correspond with the last week so that he could see all his children before they went but Louisa had overheard some of the hushed conversations between their housekeeper and butler and she wondered weather or not she would be returning to school. Indeed the news was getting more and more worrisome with every day. The German tanks were now closer to the boarder than they had ever been before and even Louisa had to admit that she couldn't see them going away anytime soon. There had been two assassination attempts on the Prime Minister and other members of the cabinet by secret Nazi sympathisers and the rhetoric in town was getting more and more fraught, fights were breaking out in pubs between pro-Germans and pro-Austrians and one night Liesl came back from meeting Rolfe with a frown on her face and climbed through Louisa's window silently.

"Can you not go through your own window?" Louisa said finally once Liesl had gotten changed into the nightgown that she had thrown over Brigitta's bed at some point in the afternoon. They were supposed to be asleep but in reality the light had been on for more than half an hour. Brigitta was doing the crossword in French to try and improve her reading and Louisa was turning her attention to the piles of holiday homework she had always avoided in an attempt to not have to stay indoors the last week of their holidays.

(In reality she was trying to pretend that everything was normal and not dwell on the conversation she had overheard in which their butler wondered weather or not Austrian schools would remain open when Germany invaded but she wasn't going to tell anyone that)

"No" Liesl said running a hand through her dark hair and then a brush that was Brigitta's and then she turned and sat down on the chair her legs folded under her and sighed in a way that told Louisa her sister wanted to talk. With no difficulty she put away her math book and turned to face her sister who shot one look to the door and then back at Louisa with her eyebrow raised.

"It's locked" Louisa said evenly. Liesl shot another look to Brigitta who said without looking up "I am not going to spill your secret Liesl, if you want to talk about the Telegraph boy go ahead"

Liesl shot a fond smile at the sister that had always been the smartest one in the family and then turned to Louisa who was watching her with wide eyes.

"Did you have sex with him then?" she asked in a hushed whisper. There was a spluttering from the bed opposite and she noticed that Brigitta had choked on a glass of water that had been at her bedside. Brigitta finally took another gulp of water and turned to her older sister, crossword forgotten with a look of utter scandalous shock and delight on her face. For her ten year old sister sex was almost as strange to her as it was as fascinating as it was to Louisa. The idea of Liesl doing something so utterly scandalous was the best kind of gossip that could be shared between sisters.

"No" Liesl said shortly after a pause. "I did not even broach the subject, and he most certainly did not. He did kiss me this time though but right at the end and it was like he hurried into it, like I was something or someone that needed to be placated, like he wanted me to go all gooey like I did last time rather than give my opinion on what he was saying, and never mind entering any discussions about our future as a couple which I had wanted to discuss with him. When I met him he raised one hand and saluted Adolf Hitler. I don't know what that means."

Brigitta gave a little hiss and then she moved forwards so that she was curled at the end of the bed her chin in her hand and her dark eyes blinking furiously.

"If he believes that man is worth anything then he's an idiot" she said finally. "Believe me Liesl you are well shot of him if those are his political opinions." Liesl shook her head sighing. "It's not that" she said finally. "It's just I don't know where it's come from. Rolfe was always proud to be Austrian. I don't know why he suddenly wants to be German"

"It doesn't bother you?" Brigitta asked, "That your boyfriend has such a dangerous political opinion?"

Liesl sighed. "Brigitta I do read the newspapers you know, I know what's happening, I know what's going to happen, and I know our father as much as we all do. I don't know what's going to happen but I am going to live my life until I can't anymore. What I don't understand is how it happened? He's only mentioned once to me some people think that we should be German and father should watch out for himself but that's nothing that I didn't already know. I just don't understand what could change his mind about something as fundamental like his national identity, and he's friends with people of the Jewish faith, half of his classmates are Jewish, I have friends who are Jewish I don't know why he's like this but some of the stuff he was saying was frightening"

There was a very pregnant pause.

"The whole world is frightening" Louisa said finally. "So that's it…it's over between you?"

Liesl shook her head her hands linked together on her lap. She raised them so that they were under her chin as if she was thinking hard.

"I don't know" was all she said, I really don't know, I do know that I don't want to see my future husband in a German uniform. And I damn well don't want to sleep with any man who thinks that the Nazi's are the greatest gift to God's earth."

There was a pause.

"But when he kissed you tonight, did you feel anything towards him?" Louisa asked driven to curiosity.

"I don't know." Liesl said. "I didn't even see it coming, he just sort of grabbed me and kissed me. I think it looks more romantic in the pictures than it does in real life. I just…I don't know how I feel about him right now, he's still the most good looking boy in town but…I don't know when he talked about father there was something about the curl of his lip and his smile that I didn't like"

There was a pause as she Louisa thought about this. She had to admit it wouldn't please her either. It was alright them bitching about their father in the privacy of their own home (with the exception of their younger sisters they all did that even Kurt) but there was something about someone else doing that that made her pause. She thought that she could understand Liesl's confusion and her annoyance. She found that she could emphasize with it.

"So what does that mean now?" Brigitta asked her legs crossed as she lay on her stomach her hands in her chin. "For you and Rolfe? Are you going to keep sneaking out to see him?"

"I don't know" Liesl said finally. "I want to. I do really like him, perhaps it is just the way things are at the minute, once the German tanks at the boarder retreat and they turn their attention to some other country or even if our government stand up to the Germans then perhaps it will get better"

It was a mark of how bad the situation was that none of them mentioned the fact that they all knew how small that chance was.

"Why don't you talk to Maria?"

Weather or not it was the lack of the title or the fact that it was Brigitta who had spoken Louisa did not know but she knew that both Liesl and herself stared with wide eyes at their younger sister who stared back as if she was surprised at the looks of complete and utter shock on their faces.

"I don't know" Liesl said as if she was surprised, as if she didn't realise that there was now a facility in their life that saw them realise that for the first time in as long as they could remember they were on the cusp of having a mother who actually wanted to know what was going on in their lives.

Brigitta shrugged. "Boys" she said finally with contempt in her voice. "Life would be a lot easier if they weren't around creating all this trouble"

Then she turned over and wrapped herself up in her covers. Louisa rolled her eyes at Liesl who was standing up and got a small smile in response.

"I should go to bed" Liesl said. "Remember we have white dresses to be fitted for tomorrow. So get some sleep ok?"

Louisa laid awake for a very long time that night thinking over what Liesl had said. Brigitta she thought was right. Boys were not worth the trouble.

* * *

The next morning she was being fitted for a white dress. Louisa had decided to have her blonde hair down and decorated with white flowers and Brigitta had decided to go with her hair in plaits crisscrossing upon the top of her head. Liesl had decided to go with her hair loose but with a red lip as if she was trying to prove that she was a woman grown, as maid of honour she would be making the long walk through the cathedral and up to the steps, twice she would kneel to the priest and twice she would stand there as their new mother's closest advisor. What she was planning was beyond stupid if she wanted Louisa's opinion. Half of the Austrian military, a good third of what was left of the aristocracy and a tenth of the clergy would be there at this wedding.

Liesl simply smiled.

Louisa however shouldn't have been surprised when their new mother knocked on the door of their study.

"Louisa" she said with a soft smile. "This has just been delivered for you from Vienna" she said holding out a package. It was small and Louisa took it with a small smile. It was better for her governess to think she had ordered something rather than admit that she had no idea what was going on.

"Oh and girls?" Maria asked turning to face them. "You are all beautiful, you don't and never will need make up to prove it." With one turn she was gone.

"Well fuck" Liesl said finally, Brigitta giggled.

The day of the wedding Louisa got dressed in silence. She started by taking a hot bath with some soap that smelled of mint, she scrubbed her hair clean and then used some conditioner on it. She climbed out and rubbed some body cream on her skin that smelt of rose and then Liesl came in her own hair in a white towel.

"Sit down" she said her smile genuine. "I'll do your hair. And Brigitta's"

There was a pause as Louisa stared through the mirror at her sister.

"You're not wearing any make-up" she said finally.

There was a very long pause. "No" Liesl said finally. "I guess I changed my mind" there was another long pause and Louisa nodded. She was most certainly not going to question anything, if Liesl was questioning her life choices then there was no way in hell that Louisa was going to stop her.

Louisa opened the box as soon as Liesl had left. It was a blue velvet box and there was a long strand of creamy pearls that would fit around her neck with room for her to breath. She had never seen anything like this. These were the most beautiful things that she had ever seen and they were creamy, the colour of milk, real with a silver clasp.

She picked the necklace up and tied it around her neck, it was perfect. She reached for the note that had tumbled out of the box the card a creamy white, the ink a blue that was not smudged and the handwriting elegant.

_Louisa _it said.

_My thanks for a conversation between a young woman and an old woman. Never settle for anything less than the best. I wish you all the best for the future, regardless of what that will be. _

_Baroness Schraeder_

Louisa stared and then she giggled trying to pretend that her eyes weren't wet.

Damn the woman.

Louisa found that she was still smiling even though she didn't know why.

* * *

The wedding went off without a hitch and they kissed their new mother goodbye when they saw her off in the car to go to Paris for the month. Louisa thought of nothing that night. She thought of nothing but trivial things until the night it happened.

They were woken up by a shout from Fritz and all of them even the younger ones tumbled out of bed. Uncle Max was stood by the radio his head bowed. Frau Schmitt was there and Uncle Max had his hands around her shoulder hugging her close. There was a pause before he realised that they were in front of him and when he turned Louisa noticed that Liesl had slid to the floor her hands over her mouth and Friedrich had straightened up his back tight and taught, Kurt had moved to their sisters side and Louisa reached for Brigitta's hand her own trembling. Her sister had gone white around her mouth and her hands were shaking too.

It seemed that she was the only one who could speak and therefore it was here that asked the question that she already knew the answer too.

"Has it happened?" she asked.

Uncle Max stared at her an there was compassion unlike anything she had ever seen before in his face.

"Yes" he said finally.

"I regret to inform you that Germany has invaded Austria. The Nazi's have taken over. God only knows, what happens next."

* * *

**And there you are, I hope you all enjoy this chapter, the next one will be published sooner rather than later. **

**Next Chapter-The Von Trapp children adjust to the new normal as the world becomes a darker place than they have ever seen it before. Max comes up with a plan to have them sing in a festival. The Captain and Maria hasten home. **


	11. The Flag With The Black Spider

**And here is the next chapter! I hope you all enjoy this chapter and I will endeavour to publish the next one sooner rather than later. There are only four more chapters of this story left so the plot will be developing fast and furiously. **

**Disclaimer-Nothing is mine just this chapter. **

**Please Read and Review. **

**Any historical inaccuracies are my own and I do apologise. **

* * *

That's My Story

Chapter 11-The Flag With The Black Spider

The Von Trapp children adjust to the new normal as the world becomes a darker place than they have ever seen it before. Max comes up with a plan to have them all sing in the festival. The Captain and Maria hasten home.

* * *

They didn't leave the house for the first two weeks of the invasion. They huddled together in front of the radio as Hitler spoke and a new government was elected that they all knew was Nazi through and through. Twice Max insisted that the younger girls and Kurt had to leave the room because the words spewing forth from the radio were so inflammatory that he thought that they had to leave the room.

They didn't go into the town, hell those first two weeks they didn't go into the grounds, school was little more than a dream that they didn't talk about—certainly they made no plans to go back nor did they receive any instructions from their parents safely enclosed in their honeymoon place on the French Rivera to tell them what to do.

It was only after the second weak that Uncle Max decided that he was going into town to see first hand what was going on. The Von Trapp children waiting on pins and needles waiting to see what was going on. When he came back in his face was resigned but there was as calmness to it that Louisa had not seen since the invasion. He hung up his hat and bent his head and sighed lost in his own world unaware that seven children were holding him as the centre of attention. Louisa had never seen him look like that either. Like he was posing for a picture entitled _'Man Defeated'_ or something like that.

"Well" he said grimly that night after dinner. He had called Liesl, Friedrich, Louisa, Brigitta and Kurt into the Drawing Room sending the two younger girls to bed. If she was being honest with herself Louisa didn't know what good Kurt could contribute to this conversation but she kept her mouth shut and her hands clasped in her lap. She was going to sit and listen to this conversation even if she didn't agree with what was being said. "It could be a lot worse. Certainly I think it's safe to leave the house and I don't want to play parent to you so I think that we should have a discussion about the rules. Firstly I think that if you want to go out beyond this household you should tell me or Frau Schmitt or even Fritz. I don't want you to go out alone especially you older girls. I think it's fair that you come home before dark, well before dark. And I don't have to tell you that if you go out to put yourselves and your siblings safety above anything else. If asked a question be polite, take your identity cards, don't get involved with fights, don't try and defend someone even if you know them. Anything that could be considered contraband under this new rule including books and newspapers—cancel your subscription—" Louisa felt Brigitta's teeth gnash together in frustration at that one. "Let's keep our heads down at least until your father get's back and from then he can plan the course of action best suited"

There was a very pregnant pause after that speech. Liesl piped up her agreement her face white as chalk but resolute. Louisa nodded. She felt cold even though it was only the first week of September and the weather had still not changed. Despite everything she had lived through, forced marches in winter under the rule of her father, the death of her mother, their new mother leaving them like a thief in the night—all of it—she had never been as cold or as lonely as she had been at this very moment.

And it seemed to stretch on forever.

* * *

Everywhere seemed hushed. Louisa had held her head high and had gone out the following morning with Liesl and Friedrich. Brigitta unsure of where she was on the new political spectrum (especially considering half of her library made her out to be a Nazi criminal)had spent the morning in her room pulling books off shelves and taking them out from under the floorboard under her bed. Louisa had woken up to see two in the fire, one she knew was the book that Hitler himself had wrote and another one. Newspapers were going the same way. Her little sister was burning her library, her thoughts, her opinions and watching them and the life she had known go up in smoke.

That was something Louisa knew she could never reconcile herself too.

The streets were littered with soldiers. The flag with the black spider—as Marta called it was hanging from every town or government building that there was. It was imposing and frightening and yet sobering all at the same time. Nothing cemented this invasion (for Louisa did not know what else to call it) more than that.

She stared at the red cloth fluttering against the sky, a perfect cloudless blue despite it being September. Liesl stood next to her for a second and then tugged on her arm.

"Come on" she muttered. "Uncle Max said not to linger. Let's get the cloth for the dresses and go."

Friedrich was already in the shop scowling. The flag again was prominent in the window. it was typical Louisa thought to herself—their dressmaker had to be a secret sympathiser. She read the sign at the window that said he would no longer serve to Jewish people and found that she wanted to rip the thing in little pieces and scream. Liesl seemed to understand this and more and she came out clutching the fabric with white knuckles and she had made sure that when she was handing over the money not so much as half a fingernail touched the man behind the counter.

They walked back in silence and only once they were in their gates and walking up the pathway did Friedrich speak his voice low and hushed as if he was expecting spies and sympathisers hiding in the bushes. Louisa couldn't crack a smile at an idea which two weeks ago seemed utterly insane.

It was like the whole world had slipped over the cliff's edge into the madness beneath.

"I'll be damned if I wear a German fucking uniform. The man in their was talking about camps for boys so that they can become soldiers—I'll be damned if I do that. If theirs a war coming then I won't be on the side of the Germans"

"I wish you wouldn't say things like that" Louisa hissed feeling her heart rate spike a little at the thought of another war. She turned to Liesl but the question she was going to ask—"_Would there really be another war?"_—died on her lips. Her sister seemed close to tears. She was blinking rather rapidly and her voice when they entered the house was croaky. Friedrich either didn't notice or didn't comment walking straight out into the garden as soon as he got back (_and if Louisa knew her brother then she'd be willing to bet that he was planning to play a rough game of football even if it was by himself_) but Liesl didn't allow him time to either, instead she disappeared up the stairs to her own bedroom leaving Louisa in the hallway of the big empty house.

Liesl had been crying.

Nothing, _nothing, _could frighten Louisa more than that.

* * *

That night their Uncle Max took a phone call from their father. It was his third week away on his honeymoon and he had not called in while he had been on the ship. Once he had reached Paris and gotten access to a phone he had immediately rang. Uncle Max took the phone call and locked himself in the study for an hour and a half. Louisa thought that despite everything that had happened between them she wanted her father here. She wanted him to tell her what was going to happen. She twisted the pearls that she wore underneath her dress around her finger and tried not to think about what would happen when, (and it was always a when wasn't it? It had never been an If.) the Nazi's came for her father.

Louisa that night slept curled into her blankets and she rocked back and forth even in sleep. She had no idea what was happening and yet she knew that there were children, girls turning into women and boys turning into men that were asleep in their own beds and yet did not know if that would be the same the night after. She didn't want to think about what was going on. She didn't want to think about what was going to happen next.

She rolled over, wiped her fingers under her eyes and tried to sleep listening to the rain lashing against the window and the gentle lull of the lake that was gently rising with the water that was adding to it as if they were the tears of the innocent that always suffered whenever there was a war.

When Louisa woke up the next day she didn't remember those thoughts at all.

All in all it was probably for best.

* * *

The next week dragged on in silence. Things seemed to be going on as normal and the Von Trapp's ventured outside a bit more though they never went alone and they never went up into the mountains again. Somehow Liesl adopting once again the role of mother rather than sister told the younger three what was going on in a gentle a tone as she could muster. And despite the fact that to their eyes nothing had changed—not that they could see there was always something shimmering in the air.

Kurt came back on one Wednesday in which he and Friedrich had gone for a replacement football that one of the girls in his class who was Jewish had been sent along with her sister to England. Their parents were staying here but she and many other Jewish children were being sent out of the country. Friedrich told her, Brigitta and Liesl that two boys in his class were now wearing strange uniforms and parroting views that were pro-Nazi and talking about camps they were going to in the summer.

The world it seemed had gotten a little bit darker and a little bit more dangerous and Louisa who had never thought that she would want the presence of the man, suddenly found that she was desperate for her father to come home and tell her it was going to be alright.

* * *

The next day something happened that nearly put the invasion of their country out of the minds of the Von Trapp children and caused Louisa to choke on her tea and toast. Uncle Max with the air of a man puling a present out of a sack told them that he had entered them in a singing contest that would be open to members of the public.

Louisa shot Liesl a look and knew that they were both in that moment thinking the same thing.

No way in hell would their father allow that.

"Did you tell father this?" Louisa asked bluntly. Uncle Max suddenly became very interested in Kurt's question about what they were supposed to sing before dropping a hint about publicity and prize money and working 'these' people even if they didn't want to which told Louisa all she needed to know.

While she could feel the throb of excitement that she knew would come with singing in public to people who their father didn't know who were not decked out in diamonds and clutching champagne glasses…and Louisa suspected he had not been too pleased with them singing then. How he was going to feel about them singing in the middle of an invasion while the world was going to hell in a hand basket for money and for a chance to raise Uncle Max's publicity she didn't want to think about. Suddenly she thought that it might be best for him to stay in Paris until this thing was over. It might be kinder for Uncle Max anyway.

"Singing in public" she said that night to Brigitta.

"Singing for the Nazi's that will be there" Brigitta said into the darkness. "Besides you know how father is, he'll never let it happen which is good. It's our thing the singing, I don't want to sing to people I hate"

Louisa sat up in the darkness of the room. "That's naïve and you know it" she said with all the scorn of an older sister. "There are plenty of people in Germany who aren't Nazi's"

"I doubt it" Brigitta said bitterly. "Hitler's either driven them away or had them all killed"

Louisa wanted to shake and scream at her little sister for putting that image in her head but she couldn't find the words. Instead she turned over and smashed her head against the softness of the pillow and fell into a very uneasy sleep.

* * *

The next day Uncle Max showed them where the stage was when the same man, Herr Zeller, the one she had seen at the ball came to speak to him. Uncle Max gave some half-hearted salute with his raised hand looking rather pained and Louisa felt Friedrich next to her stand up a bit straighter and Brigitta take Gretl's hand in her own.

She listened and felt the stirrings of memories shift in her brain, a conversation with a woman about what their father would do if the Nazi's ever came looking for his service. Fuck, the Baroness was right.

She felt Liesl's eyes on Herr Zeller's face and knew that her sister was trying to read a man who had nothing but hatred in his eyes. There was no point, they were on borrowed time anyway. Louisa had no doubt that their father would refuse to serve and God only knew what he would do if he came home to see the Nazi flag flying above their house (and who the hell gave that man permission to do that anyway?. Either way Louisa didn't want to think about what they would do to their father once he refused to serve them. It made her legs shake just thinking about it. She bumped her shoulder against her older brother looking for something to ground her and felt his hand flicker against her wrist in support.

Uncle Max sighed. "Everyone's cross these days" he said to himself and to Marta's question. When Liesl asked if their father was going to be in trouble Uncle Max's small pause before stating that the trick was to get along with everyone these days made Liesl sigh, their father was not a man to get along with everyone on any day.

"Liesl!" it was Rolfe. He was wearing a very strange uniform.

Liesl went over to talk to him though Uncle Max opening the car door kept his eyes on them and his posture poised to interrupt. Friedrich hissed under his breath like an angry goose. Louisa shot him a look rather surprised to see the ugly expression on her usually mild mannered brother's face.

"That's the uniform Jan was wearing" he hissed to her. "It's the uniform of something called the Hitler's Youth"

Liesl raised her eyebrows in response though at this point nothing could surprise her. She remembered unbidden again the conversation that Liesl had had with her and Brigitta that night before the wedding when she had snuck off to meet Rolfe and he had been proud and puffed up at the thought of being part of the great German nation.

She shot Brigitta a quick look and the dark eyes that flashed momentarily showed Louisa that her quick minded sister too remembered that conversation.

Liesl came back to the car an unreadable expression on her face and her blue eyes clouded. She held a telegram in her lap.

"Father's home" she said finally shoving it into her pocket. "They knew before we did Uncle Max"

Uncle Max nodded but he didn't say anything only tightened his grip on his steering wheel as he put the car into drive.

"Oh good" Gretl said as Marta smiled and clapped, the two of them completely oblivious as to what had gone on before them. "Then we can tell them about singing in the festival"

Yes Louisa thought as the wind whipped her hair back, the festival. She had almost forgotten that that was why they were here.

She took another look at the soldiers marching through the town and leaned back as they moved onto the more deserted country roads where she had once climbed trees.

The festival, all they had to worry about was the festival. She rolled her eyes at her own thoughts and unbidden a thought came to her that made her clamp her teeth down on her bottom lip so hard it hurt, in a vein attempt to hide the smile that came without warning and was so inappropriate for the moment.

_That would be the bloody day. _

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**And there you are, enjoy and I will hopefully see you next time. **

**Next Chapter-The Captain and Maria are forced to make a decision that will change the family forever. Louisa and her father share a moment before she is forced to leave the only home she has ever known. **


	12. Rock And A Hard Place

**Hi, so here is another chapter, I hope you all enjoy this chapter and please stay tuned for the final three chapters of this story. **

**I rewrote the ending of this so I hope it makes sense and you all enjoy it. As always I will try and update sooner rather than later. **

**Disclaimer-Nothing is mine in this chapter. **

**Please Read and Review. **

* * *

That's My Story

Chapter 12-Rock And A Hard Place.

The Captain and Maria are forced to make a decision that will change the family forever. Louisa and her father share a moment before she is forced to leave the only home she has ever known.

* * *

Their father was standing in the front of their house and for a moment Louisa was gripped with a memory so powerful it stole the breath away from her. She remembered suddenly her father standing there once before when she had come home from Church, Liesl on one side of her and Brigitta then a small child on the other. Fredrich had ran ahead with Kurt and Frau Schmitt had taken them to church to pray for their mother who was ill. She'd taken one look at their father standing there and had ushered them upstairs and Louisa even at the delicate age of eight had realised that something was wrong.

That night she had learnt that her mother had died.

That night her life had never been the same.

And she had the same sense of terrible foreboding now when she saw their father ripping up the red flag and throwing it into the dust.

They ran towards him and their new mother of course they did and Louisa found that she was searching for something when she looked at him. She didn't know what but she saw that the smile was still the same, the smell of him and for once she leaned into the hand on her shoulder. She wouldn't say just how deeply she had missed him or how deeply she had been afraid of this world, of what was happening, of what it all meant or of what Herr Zeller would do to him. Somehow she imagined that would come out at a later date when the police came knocking on their door.

Her eyes were on their new mother though she was not understanding a word of what was being said. Her smile seemed genuine but Louisa was aware of the hushed whispers that taking place and the glances between her uncle and her father. She closed her eyes and then opened them again after a pause deciding to dawdle in her walk even as everyone rushed off to the terrace to open their presents.

Liesl hooked on arm around her shoulders and the other around their new mother's (saying mother as if their old one didn't exist still felt strange to her. She was unsure if she would ever get used to the idea even when the world wasn't falling to hell right in front of her eyes and together the three of them walked into the main house Liesl just in time to see Uncle Max make a comment about how they know had to work with 'these people for the good of Austria' and their father's loud and rather scathing reply that made her shrink back.

Their father had never done anger the way other men employed anger. His fury was often soft and muted but still had enough force behind it to send even a grown man shaking to his knees. She had never seen him explode like that, not even when they had climbed out of the lake shivering and dripping wet wearing curtains in front of the Baroness. It was enough to take her breath away and tighten her grip on the back of Liesl's dress.

Their father whirled around and seemed to realise that the three of them were looking at him. His eyes however were not on his new wife but on his daughter and looking at him there and then Louisa thought that something had changed in the month they had been gone if their father could look at her and Liesl like that. It was if he was seeing without seeing and realising something, Louisa had no idea what, she and Liesl had not changed in the month that they had been gone. Instead they had dropped all the pretence of growing up unless you counted the fact that Louisa now had three bras instead of two and Liesl still had her lipsticks only this time one red and one a dusky kind of pink that didn't make her look like a prostitute.

For a moment they stared and then their father jerked his chin towards the terrace. "Louisa would you mind going to check on your siblings and making sure they've not run wild outside for me? I need to make a phone call"

Louisa nodded moving to the terrace but as she made to slide past her father a hand came out and caught her wrist. She turned to stare at him sure her surprise and her probable concern etched on her face. The harsh lines etched into the skin of her father's well-worn face softened for a second and a knuckle came out and brushed her chin. This time Louisa relaxed even though she was still somewhat confused. She had no idea what was going on here but she could remember her father doing that to her when she was scared and had a nightmare and had wanted to climb into his bed where he was with mother and beg him to protect her. It was a comforting memory, actually come to think of it, it was one of the few that she had.

She moved outwards into the terraced balcony and then down the steps to where the other children were unwrapping presents. Gretl had her new doll, a beautiful china thing with real hair and bright eyes and a blue dress that was puffy and made with real silk, Marta had her pink socks as well as some pink leather gloves in the softest rose colour that she was already wearing. Kurt had a collection of British First World War toy soldiers to join the already impressive collection of nations residing upstairs. Fredrich received a new penknife that he was twirling around his fingers (though why their father had decided that the son that was nearing manhood needed a knife Louisa couldn't think. Brigitta was staring with a rather shocked look on her face at the books in her lap.

"He knew" she said upon seeing Louisa's expression. "He knew that I was reading about current events, he knew half of the books were banned and that I was ordering them in, I didn't realise he knew"

"Of course I knew" said a voice to there left and Louisa jumped a little turning to see their father leaning by the stone steps, Liesl who had sat down (though Louisa couldn't honestly say when she had appeared looking calmer than she had seemed in a long time) grinned reaching for her own wrapped present.

"I was paying the bills remember? You think I didn't see the authors that were coming into my house—some of which I don't approve of my girl" he said though he seemed more amused than annoyed. "They should keep you busy, a couple were written by American politicians and one was written by a journalist who was in the USSR recently. But…" and here his face became serious. "Nothing German Brigitta. And I would like to see your book lists before you order, the world is changing and I the law is changing so fast that even I don't know where it will take us. Whatever happens I want to keep you safe. So can you please let me see the books that you are reading—if there is anything that I don't think is safe or approve off I will let you know, perhaps there are some books I can read with you and talk through with you. If you'd let me."

There was a pause while Brigitta stared on in amazement. Louisa didn't blame her in the slightest. She too had the feeling that the earth had just shifted.

"Alright father" Brigitta said with a soft smile, pink dusting her cheeks. "But I don't think I'll politically agree with you."

Their father laughed and the sound was both soft and genuine though there was worry at the end of his voice and his eyes were filled with a kind of pain Louisa couldn't understand. "No, I don't suppose you would" he said finally. "But I'm up for the debate"

He pulled away turning to look at them. "Liesl what do you think of your present?"

Liesl jumped a little turning to open the small box. Inside were a pair of gold earrings, they were set in a sort of looping gold with rubies in the centre. Louisa remembered that the rubies might have been their mother's but she didn't remember the earrings, it was funny really, the little things that you did remember.

"The earrings we picked up in Paris, as for the earrings well…your mother would want you to have them"

Liesl looked down at the earrings and then up at their father, she seemed to emotional to speak. For a second the two of the stared at each other as if they were having some kind of conversation and then Liesl crossed the small space between them and hugged him. Louisa watched and wondered weather or not she was the only one who could see the emotion behind an everyday action.

"Louisa have you opened yours?"

Louisa blinked and then looked away to the parcel Brigitta was holding out for her. She opened the parcel with trembling fingers and paused looking at what was inside. Despite how she had always claimed she had felt she didn't know what to say right about now. The paper fell to the floor as she saw what was in front of her.

It was a sketchpad of creamy paper, more than she had ever been able to grab her hands on and the kind of pencils that she never would have had enough money for. For a second she stared and then when she looked up at her father it was too see that same small smile on his face as before.

"Now you can have another book instead of drawing on whatever you want rather than on the scraps of paper that I keep finding all over the house. And…and your really quite good…when things _settle down_ Louisa perhaps you should see weather or not you can go to art school."

Louisa opened her mouth and then shut it again feeling like if she spoke her emotions would be all over the place. Her throat felt to tight to speak and she could feel her eyes welling up. She nodded not daring to comment on the fact that art school was something she had privately been looking at as well but had never said anything because she had known that her father would never entertain the idea of one of his daughters swanning off to art school in the countryside. Instead she didn't say anything, she was still finding this strange.

Their father didn't seem to say anything to that. It was like he didn't know what to say anymore than they did. It made the whole thing incredibly awkward. Instead he turned to see their mother standing there watching him, at her small nod of encouragement he turned and Louisa could see the age bleed back into his eyes, the worry, the fear and everything else in between that he had tried to keep from them. She exchanged a look with Liesl, and she knew that they were once again both thinking the same thing. There was a pause before Liesl spoke up.

"Father, is something wrong?"

Their father took a deep breath and then moved to hoist Gretl on his knee. Marta came to sit on one side, and he wrapped an arm around Brigitta's thin shoulders. He seemed to be struggling with how to speak. Louisa swallowed as everyone came a bit closer. There was something wrong here. There was something, very, very, wrong here. She felt her hands go cold and she curled them into fists turning her eyes away from her father and looking over the lake that was ebbing and flowing, feeling the sun on her face and the wind in her hair and the sounds of the birds as they circled the mountains that always had snow on them even in summer.

She was still marvelling at the beauty of her home, of her country, of the place where she had grown up in when her father told them that they were going to have to leave it and perhaps never come back.

* * *

She stared at her bed in shock, it was half rumpled from this morning because she had not made it. The pillows with their silken pillowcases were hap hazard and thrown across the bed. Her shoes were under the bed itself the leather glinting off one of the red shoes. Her books were on the edge of the nightstand, her kohl eyeliner in the draw underneath the vase of white roses that had been her wedding bouquet and that needed to be thrown out.

For a second she couldn't speak as she looked at how she had left things this morning when she had woken up as she had always done and not apricated that it was the last night in her own bed.

Brigitta next to her was pulling her thick rucksack down. They were all taking a suitcase and then a rucksack depending on what they could carry. Louisa had watched as their mother had packed their clothes winter and summer ones though she noted that there was more of an effort in taking the winter ones. The suitcases would be dealt with by their father through connections he had, they were going If all went to plan to Switzerland. Though she had hardly listened to the bloody plan.

She felt close enough to tears as it was.

Brigitta was muttering behind her throwing books and papers into the bag. She was throwing her diary into the bag as well though Brigitta could have been throwing a gun into her bag and Louisa wouldn't have noticed.

"Girls?" came a voice behind them and Louisa didn't turn but knew that her father was stood behind her. Brigitta did turn and when she spoke it was with a voice that was far too wise and far to brave to belong to a ten year old.

"Father can I take mother's books from the library? I mean the ones that she used to read to us, and the maps that you kept from the first war?"

"You can take anything of your mother's that you want Brigitta, but the maps are not important. Take one if you have the room but don't worry yourself about the books—most can be replaced"

Brigitta nodded and then disappeared leaving the two of them in the room. Louisa wished it wasn't so. She was so much more sure of herself when she wasn't with her father alone in a room where she was already battling her emotions.

Her father crossed the room and pulled out the rucksack that she usually slung over her back as she was going to school. Louisa stared at it, seeing it without seeing it and feeling her eyes blur up with tears. She did not know what to do now she was fleeing the only home that she had ever known.

"Louisa" her father said his hands coming out. She couldn't help but flinch away from him even as her body trembled with sobs. She didn't turn back to see her father so therefore she did not see the look that came upon his face when he saw her there trembling with supressed emotion.

"It's not fair" she said finally. "It's not. Why us? Why our country? Why now?"

These were the questions she knew that millions of people weather now or in years to come would be asking. Louisa might only be thirteen but she knew that.

Her father crossed the room and after a pause in which his face crumpled somewhat (as if he knew that this wouldn't be welcome) he opened his arms. For the first time since she had been child—Louisa went into them and she allowed him to hug her close and bury his face into her hair. She didn't comment on what that meant to her. She did not think that there were words for that.

Instead she allowed his embrace to comfort her.

"You are so strong my girl, I ask that you only be strong a little longer"

"It's not fair"

She kept saying his even though it didn't change anything. It didn't mean anything either. She was not the only girl in this country packing up her life into scraps, complaining about how it was unfair.

"I know," her father said finally his own voice so soft Louisa had to strain to hear him. "I know. But Louisa, I cannot serve the Nazi's. I hope one day you understand why"

Louisa already did understand why but she did not want to say that. Instead she buried herself into the suit that her father was wearing as if she was trying to hide from the danger that was growing with every second that they were staying even within the comfort of the room that had been hers for as long as she had lived.

Her father pressed a kiss and then his head against her hair. Louisa said nothing even as he pulled away.

"Pack your bag Louisa"

The first thing that went into it was the sketch pad that he had bought her and the pencils, the paints and the brushes, the movie stars that had been on her wall, then went the kohl pencil and the bras and the picture of her mother and the teddy bear she'd had since she was five. After that what little room she'd had left in the bag she would sling across her back was dedicated to memories she'd had as a child, pictures of everything and anything she could lay her hands on and the silk pillowcase she had laid her head upon that morning as if to remind herself that nothing ever changed when it was clear that everything had.

She closed her eyes and then opened them again staring at herself in the mirror, the blonde hair tucked underneath the green hat that she had had since she had been in school—a time which she had lived in so long ago even though it had been weeks ago. Even though she had left that room she had grown up in with the bed still unmade.

There was something in her sisters expression, in Liesl's expression which told her that her big sister too was struggling with the knowledge that was to come. Louisa buttoned up her coat and took one last longing look around the bedroom, around the foyer, the ballroom and the lake before she buttoned up her coat and tucked her hands into her leather gloves.

* * *

She didn't look back as she left the house but as she walked down the drive her hands wrapped both around Brigitta and then tucked around Liesl's thin shoulders as they walked together, the Von Trapp girls together out of the house that they had been born into, out of the life they had been born into and then out into the world that they knew nothing about.

Louisa did not look back although every instinct she had told her to turn back at the very least to say goodbye to their Housekeeper and their butler (though she knew her father would have found Frau Schmitt a job regardless, but the woman had been with them from the very beginning and had been on more than one occasion been the only parent that had managed to be there.

She did not look back at her home as she left it.

She did not look back at that messed up bed that was still the same as she had left it and perhaps a bit more warm and a bit more inviting.

She did not comment on any of that even though he knew that everyone around her was feeling the same thing.

But as she looked at the family ready to escape she found that despite who she was and what she was raised to be...she was not going to leave feeling scared and terrified or kicking and screaming. She had no idea what was going to happen now to her or too her family but she knew she was not going to leave the only home she ever knew kicking and screaming and crying. She had too much pride for that. She had ben raised with too much pride for that.

Louisa had to believe that they would be back again. Back to the house and back to the unmade bed, back to the warmth and the rocking of the lake.

And back to Austria, her country, her home, her peace.

Louisa did not look back, either way she knew who she was, what was happening and the reality of coming back (though she refused to admit it)

She was proud of herself. She did not look back.

It killed her to walk away from their childhood home but she did not look back.

Looking back she would think that it was a miracle she had manged to do that.

The door to the house swung shut, Louisa's whole body seemed to sort of shiver with something that she knew had nothing to do with the temperature though she would never admit it.

She did not look back. Whatever happened as darkness came upon them and they left the house for the last time…

She did not look back.

* * *

**And let me know what you think. I will try and update sooner rather than later. **

**Next Chapter-Louisa and her family are ambushed and end up singing at the festival before they begin a daring escape that will forever alter their lives. **


	13. Somewhere Between Heaven And Hell

**And here is another chapter, we now only have two more chapters left and then this story is completed! I hope to have the final two chapters posted soon. **

**Disclaimer-Nothing is mine. **

**Please Read and Review. **

* * *

That's My Story

Chapter 13-Somewhere Between Heaven And Hell

Louisa and her family are ambushed and end up singing at the festival after all before they begin a daring escape that will forever change their lives.

* * *

The air was cold and the lights when they flashed in front of her face made her squeeze them shut groping around in the darkness until she wrapped her hand around another hand. Liesl. Liesl who had straightened her spine somewhat and was staring at the light had her eyes slightly narrowed. Their mother had one hand firmly on Gretl's shoulder and then firmly on Kurt's back. Friedrich gave a little hiss and their father who was stood next to him reached out and touched him on the sleeve. Louisa watched all of this and then the man standing in the headlights came forwards and she could see what her brother had seen.

It was Herr Zeller. His gun was in his hand though it wasn't pointed at anyone (not that, that made any difference) though she knew that all he had to do was to twirl his finger or raise his hand and his own gun not to mention the ten other guns that the men surrounding him no doubt had in their possession. They were all wearing that hideous yellow and brown shirt and trousers combination that made Louisa want to shy backwards without saying a word. There was a pause where she stood there watching and then Herr Zeller moved forwards and when he spoke the words were enough to make her blood curdle, even before she analysed the tone and the way that he was smiling.

They wanted her father. The Nazi's and that was why they were fleeing. Suddenly the pieces all went together, the jigsaw was coming together, the reason that they were fleeing their homes and their country in the middle of the night like common criminals. She had known that they had wanted his support, they had wanted him to work for them—and yet her brain had not made the connection between wanting their father to work for them and him actually commanding a German ship into a war that was surely going to come if not today then one day soon.

All of a sudden Louisa felt sick. The thought of a war was beyond anything she had ever imagined. She could understand why their father had always gotten upset when they had played war games as children now. Now she knew it was no game. It was something far more dangerous and deadly.

And it had her here. Standing here in this bloody cold air watching as men with guns came to take her father away and him coldly stare them down even as his mouth twitched.

Suddenly it didn't matter. What had happened before, what had gone on between them, her private thoughts and feelings towards him. It didn't matter. None of it mattered. All that mattered was that she could forgive him for events that had previously taken place. Now that she was confronted with the thought of losing her father she knew that she could forgive him anything. Louisa opened her mouth to tell him that—or to say something, anything, that might help but with that sixth sense that her oldest sister had developed all she got was an elbow in the ribs for her trouble.

By the time that she had managed to stand up straighter rubbing her side (because damn Liesl had sharp pointy elbows) they were being pushed towards the car. Louisa twisted a little to see what was going on and saw a look pass between their parents, it was half love, half a determination to see this underway and Louisa understood that despite the fact that all hope seemed lost and that they were hopelessly outgunned, outnumbered and on their own they were still going to try to escape.

Drawing from within some sort of strength that stopped her from turning into an hysterical mess at the thought of all these men with guns surrounding them. She curled her hands under her backside to stop them shaking and she looked out at the familiar landscape. It was no longer a question of when or even if she would see it again. It was now a question of whether or not they would survive the night.

That terrified her beyond all recognition. It made her whimper and then snap her teeth down on her bottom lip to stop the whimpering. She was not going to start crying hysterically here. She forced down the shudder that involuntarily rocked her body and opened the window a fraction so the cold air could blow on her face. She wasn't sure if she could stand at this point never mind sing.

Louisa wondered briefly if she was the only one who had realised that escape was now a pipe dream and that the best case scenario was that they lose their father (and probably their home to boot) and that the worse case scenario was that they were all shot.

She turned to see Liesl staring ahead her arms wrapped around Marta and Brigitta and her jaw so tight it looked like it could cut glass. Wordlessly their eyes met and she knew that she was seeing the same look in her eyes that she was seeing in her sister's. Louisa had to look away least she become completely hysterical and fall apart. She felt someone bang her knee and she saw Fredrich smile at her his blue eyes clouded with fear one arm around Brigitta who was leaning her head against his shoulder her eyes closed and her hands buried in the folds of her travelling cloak.

Louisa looked away and shook her head feeling the cold air hit her and trying to breath.

* * *

Of what she was thinking off during that time—the drive that seemed to take ages but didn't take long enough—even when she thought back on it she really couldn't say what she had been thinking about.

* * *

They were given some sense of privacy due to their Uncle claiming that this was a music festival, then that it was still Austria and then that he would not allow young soldiers in a room with young girls. That made Herr Zeller after a good deal of pandering go to his seat in the front row. Louisa finally swallowed her hands shaking. Friedrich stepped up once he seemed to realise that Liesl who had sunk to the floor her knees under her couldn't speak.

"So what now?" he asked his chin jutting outwards.

"We sing our songs, I know Max has had you all practising so you can sing, and then when we get to the final song which will be 'So Long, Farewell' you will all begin to make your way back to the car quietly. First to go will be Kurt and Marta, then Liesl and Friedrich, then Louisa and Brigitta, someone will meet Gretl as she gets off the stage and then we will join you"

"And if you don't?" it was Brigitta who asked that question and their father seemed to realise that that was the one thing that his children were worried about. He smiled at them and there was a moment where Louisa thought that he was almost flattered. He didn't look like a man who was going to serve his worst enemy. He looked like a man who was utterly confident that he and his family were going to get out of the country tonight.

Louisa wondered what he knew that they didn't.

"We will" he said his voice so utterly confident that Louisa couldn't help but feel it spread around the room like a warm fire making them all feel a bit better. She wasn't sure how much of it was bravado—a childish desire to believe that he was going to make it all better. Or how much of it was her belief that it would happen.

Either way it got her to her feet, it got Liesl to her feet. Their father looked relieved at that either way.

"Now" he said in a calm voice. "Let's wash our faces and prepare ourselves, if we have to sing in public" he gritted his teeth which told Louisa that he really didn't approve of this whatsoever (she exchanged a small fleeting smile with Liesl who was now back to looking amused rather than terrified) and she reached for the cool water that had been provided.

Her hands were still shaking.

Singing in front of a big crowd was very different to singing in front of the Austrian aristocrats. Austrian aristocrats were there because of her father and they had the respect of him that these people didn't happen. Also there had been no guards blocking all the entrance ways and Louisa had not been in a travelling dress feeling her hands shake so much she had to clasp them behind her back and wrap them around each other so that it wasn't noticeable.

They got through the songs easily enough because they had known them. The shock came when her father reached for the well worn instrument that he had only played on once and with one song.

"He's not going to sing is he?" Kurt hissed looking floored. Louisa shrugged. Their mother was beaming as if she had seen this sequence of events come to pass, their father coming full circle. There was a pause where she stood there listening to his voice, at the brokenness as he confessed he was leaving and that this would be the last time he stood in his own country with his own countrymen.

Suddenly she was crying, tears in her eyes and running down her cheeks. She wiped her fingers under her eyes to hide them but she couldn't help but feel her heart heave with love for the man who had treated her like she was shit for so long. Like she was an afterthought, the man that she couldn't help but forgive despite the fact that she had sworn she never would forgive him.

The next time they were in the country she had grown up in, that she had been raised in, that she had been a proud citizen of (and that was if they ever came back here) it would change. The lake, the house she had grown up in, the people that they were surrounded by might be dead or destroyed. And it wasn't just that, it was the world that they had grown up in. When they left tonight they were leaving this world behind, this generation that they had grown up in. The safety and security that they had taken for granted.

There was something so evil on the horizon that they were escaping and she wanted nothing more to do than to hide from it but time would not slow down because Louisa Von Trapp wanted it too. She had learnt that the hard way.

She wondered if this was what it felt like to become an adult. She had once wanted to be a grown woman with all that she had. Now she found that she wanted nothing more to do than to go back to being as small as Gretl who thought that this was a holiday and not the running away that it was. She wrapped one arm around her mother and hugged her the emotion hitting her from all sides just as their father seemed to stop. It was the first time Louisa had seen him clouded with emotion. He had been cold after their mother had died. She had never seen him cry. And now he looked as if his heart was being ripped out of his chest.

Their mother went to him first, Brigitta followed, Liesl and then her, the boys were on either side of them and the little ones singing together saying goodbye even thought some of them didn't know that who or what they were saying goodbye too.

But Louisa did.

Louisa did.

She wrapped one hand around her waist and lent her head on his shoulder. She was trying to say it without saying the words—she had never really been good with them. He looked down at her for a second and their eyes met and his hand tightened on the small of her back before they broke apart to sing the next song.

It didn't matter that nothing was said. Louisa knew that he knew.

She trusted (for the first time in her life) her feelings in this.

Marta and Kurt, Friedrich and Liesl were already gone, their suitcases and bags were in the car. They had a clear shot to it because their father had parked near the facilities and nobody would make a noise out of children using the bathroom. Herr Zeller was still in his seat, the front door guarded, but not all the side doors, Louisa understood—he had not brought enough men.

Underestimating Georg Von Trapp.

"Well" she said to Brigitta as they scrambled down to the stage and grabbed their coats from the side.

"You did always say the Nazi's were idiots"

Brigitta laughed.

"Go" Louisa said pointing to the door. "Someone's got to wait for Gretl and it looks less obvious if two of us go. Go Brigitta,"

Brigitta shot her one look with her dark eyes and was gone in a swish of dark hair.

Louisa waited until her little sister was off the stage and then told her where to run, she was waiting. She felt like she had to wait.

Her father joined her ten seconds later, his face grim. Her mother kissed her and then went in search of the children. Louisa stopped him with a hand on his sleeve even though she shouldn't have.

"I was a bitch" she said. "I…I have said and thought some things father, I…I get it now. I just, I wanted to say that, I was a bitch, a stupid little girl and I…I'm proud of you, I trust you—"

She was cut off by her father who hugged her closely pressing her against him as he kissed her on the top of her hair. She forced herself to let him go and there was a look in his eye as he touched her chin that she had never seen before.

"You were never a bitch" he said finally. "You were a child, you all were, and I should have…I could have…I should have done things differently and if I could go back—" his mouth twisted as he stopped speaking forcing himself to swallow.

"We cannot live in the past Louisa, just the future, and as long as we are together then we have a future, come on"

And they ran back to the car.

* * *

They made it to the main road before they heard the sirens in the distance. Brigitta moaned into her hands, Friedrich wrapped his arm tight around her and pulled her close. Their father swore and then swerved the car so Louisa ended up with Marta's elbow in her face.

"Where are we going darling?" their mother asked her face grimmer than Louisa had ever seen it. They were moving up a rickety road.

"Somewhere they might not think about. He's going to check the port and the train station he might not check here. Of course he might because of your connection but Herr Zeller thinks that he's a gentlemen then it might by us some time"

They moved up the rickety road uphill the car making them all shake and shudder. There was another pause where Louisa watched as their mother put two and two together.

The convent.

"Out" their father barked and Louisa scrambled out hurrying through the open doors as the car was moved around the back. The nuns ushered them into a hallway and they crouched low where there was no windows their father joining them a second later.

Now all they had to do it seemed was wait.

Louisa found Brigitta's hand.

And they waited for the inevitable.

They did not have to wait long.

* * *

**And there you are, I hope that you all enjoyed this chapter and I hope to see you again at the penultimate one. **

**Next Chapter-The Penultimate Chapter of this story: The Nazi's invade the convent where the Von Trapps are hiding, Liesl comes face to face with her past as their is a desperate attempt to escape. **


	14. Deal With Our Devils

**Hi, so here is the penultimate chapter of this story! I am so glad that i can soon bring this story to a close. The next chapter will be the last and will bring this story to a conclusion that will coincide with the end of the film. Also this story will be more film based when it comes to the ending than real life. **

**Disclaimer-Nothing is mine. **

**Please Read and Review. **

**And again some historical liberties. **

* * *

That's My Story

Chapter 14-Deals With Our Devils

The penultimate chapter of this story. The Nazi's invade the convent where the Von Trapp's are hiding, Liesl comes face to face with her past as there is a desperate attempt to escape.

* * *

They were pressed up against the back wall of the convent hidden from the windows when the knock came, it was sharp and harsh and it left Louisa in no doubt who it was. Liesl gave a moan but covered it by shoving two gloved knuckles in her mouth. Louisa felt something prick at her eyelids and she tried to blink back the tears that came so rapidly right now.

Their mother ran a hand down Liesl's arm in a comforting manner and Liesl made an effort not to break down. How much longer could her sisters nerves keep this up for Louisa didn't know but she knew that the edges were being frayed of Liesl's rather impeccable composure. Brigitta next to her tucked her hand into Louisa's elbow and she felt her sister give a shuddering breath, a doorbell rang and a nun in black sped past her only to be stopped and shushed by the Mother Superior who looked white to the lips but resolute in a way that was extremely comforting.

And then there father was stood there moving fast and his face so hard and lines showing that she had never seen before. He gestured with his head towards the door and following the Mother Superior the Von Trapp children and their mother ran up two flights of stairs and into what must have been a combination of a courtyard and a crypt. Louisa saw the night sky peppered with stars against an inky blue, felt the warm breeze that served to remind her that it was still summer even though the whole world felt cold in a way that would never be warm again. She saw the mountains in the distance that separated Austria from other countries such as Switzerland, so cold that there was snow all year round and thought to herself even as she helped Gretl across the uneven stones of the large crypt, that this would be a wonderfully, simple place to find God.

The back of the room was made up of headstones weather they be of actual people or a tribute to the saints Louisa could not see her eyes straining in the darkness just to make out what was in front of her. She could see however that they were wide and gleaming, cool stone weathered with the wind coming from the windows that had no glass in them and they were big enough to hide behind providing the iron gates that kept them safe from harm remained closed.

She swallowed. The cross from the stairs took maybe half a minute but the way her limbs were acting made it feel like it was so much more. She wanted to hide away and never see the light of day again—it was hard to believe that just this morning they had been practicing on top of that half stage where Uncle Max had remarked rather forlornly that 'Everyone's Cross These Days' like it was their opening number.

Immediately they were through the iron gates. Liesl took hold of Brigitta and Marta pushing them forwards. Fredrich turned on his heel quick as a flash and she paused watching him, his hair shining against the night sky was like some sort of candle and Louisa watching him thought with a stab of terror as she noticed—even when her mind was whirling and moving at a thousand miles an hour—that her hair was the same shade of blonde and that they might be seen standing out about the darkness. She bit her lip so hard she could taste the coppery tang of blood on her tongue. God knows it was either that or start weeping unconsolably right there and then.

Their father was deep in conversation with the Mother Superior. He was talking about abandoning the car as soon as he got to the hills. The Mother was telling him that the borders had closed. Louisa shot a look at her brother, granted he was not Brigitta who would have been able to decipher what that meant for them and also for most of the rest of the world this side of the Atlantic but she saw Fredrich rear backwards as if he had been struck and she pressed close to his side watching everything and trying hard to decipher it.

The boarders were closing—well that was to keep everyone in under German occupation that much was obvious even to her—the Germans did not want anyone fleeing the new wonderful order they had imposed on the people that had wanted it so much (at least that was what she knew was going to be printed in the newspapers when the morning came and everything once again turned on the heal of its axis). She knew that it made things easier for the deportations that she knew (_she knew_) had been going since the beginning of this nightmare that saw her standing here at the age of thirteen with nothing more than a suitcase and a bag in the car that was somewhere in the grounds of this convent.

The whole thing made her head hurt. She found that she wanted nothing more to do than to go back to the bed that she had deliberately left unmade, crawl under the covers and sleep away whatever it was that was on the horizon brewing like dark clouds.

The borders were closed.

They were trapped.

"Alright" their father said, and Louisa watched him. The man that she had known, the gentle man that had hugged them and bought them presents and had seen them had gone. Back was the naval captain, the man so utterly controlled in everything he did that he was almost unmovable. Captain Von Trapp was not easily defeated. Louisa could almost see her father's brain moving at a hundred miles per hour. She wrapped one hand around her brother's elbow and took it as a sign of how worried Friedrich was that he didn't throw her off.

"Alright then we will go out up into the mountains and cross the border on foot"

"The children"

That was their mother, Louisa thought that was an excellent point to make. While she and Friedrich and Kurt might have managed it, they being the ones who had made it outside each day and were used to walking, hiking and running she couldn't see Marta and Gretl doing it. She certainly couldn't see Brigitta climbing over mountains and rocks and into the harsh wilderness. Her sister was all books and pens and paper. Liesl could do it but her eldest sister was tired and she was struggling and she was too used to putting the feelings of her siblings before her own. She had been playing at mother for so long sometimes Louisa knew it was hard to switch off. Liesl could do it but for how long? Even Louisa had to admit that she would struggle to carry on for long without rest, without a plan, without some sort of ending for her and for her family that didn't see them separated across the world where the lines between what was good, what was bad and was evil were so blurred it was impossible to see.

Their father turned and he took stock of them half in shadow, half in moonlight—his two children who had the golden blonde hair—Gretl's having the occasion shade of brown to it—and he smiled at them though they both knew it to be false. The two of them who at the start of this summer where nothing had been set in stone and they had thought themselves invincible in their pettiness to make the newest governess's life hell had changed from children into adults and the knowledge that came crashing down upon her served only to turn Louisa to tears which she blinked back furiously.

Her father pressed one knuckle against the underside of her chin and with another hand pressed it hard into Fredrich's shoulder.

"We can do it without help father"

Louisa shot him a look that she knew even if he didn't pick up on it was far from sisterly.

"I know you can, now get behind a headstone and keep quiet. Now"

Louisa did not wait to be asked twice.

She let go of her brother's hand and darted behind a headstone trembling from head to foot. She was aware of Fredrich on one side and Gretl pressing into her side her blue eyes still unaware and unafraid. Louisa felt something crack at her five year old sister who had started the day dancing around a stage with her sister and was ending it by crouching behind a headstone, suddenly an unwanted criminal in her own country. If it was hard for her to understand then the Lord only knew how hard it was for the younger ones to understand. She was aware that everyone was hiding, their mother with a whispered murmur was there soothing Gretl's headscarf back and wrapping her hands around her body holding her close. If there was ever a reason to believe the inevitable was coming, then it was that. Louisa took a breath trying not to vomit.

It was happening.

It was happening.

And then after a silence that seemed to stretch for years but was in fact only minutes, she heard it. The sound of footsteps coming up the well-worn steps to the crypt—the steps that nuns had travelled upon with the deepest devotion and was now being pounded by the tread of the Nazi jackboots.

She rammed a knuckle into her mouth and forced herself to breathe—she forced herself to close her eyes and sit there. She would not rock back and forth but never before had she wanted in her life to be like her little sister who was being comforted by her mother. Fredrich caught her eye and there was something grim in that expression. His face was pressed as close to the edge of the stone as he could get without being seen.

He was waiting.

Louisa took another breath, and then another.

She bit her bottom lip forcing herself to stay silent.

The clash of a hand on the metal grate shaking harshly made her inhale. Without looking at her, her brother gripped her by her shoulder so tight that she was sure that he was going to leave marks. Louisa took the touch to steady herself as a light that was a torch shined into the darkness of a couple of headstones.

She took another breath.

Another rattle, another headstone.

She took another breath.

She felt sick.

They were two headstones away.

And then they were upon them.

Fredrich reared back like a snake and Louisa buried her head in her knees and forced half her skirt into her mouth to keep her cry inwards. Her mother pressed a hand to the top of her head and she watched even though she tried to keep her eyes closed even though she could see the light on the stones of the wall above her.

The light turned to the stone that was hiding the rest of her family. There was more than a little force behind this push against the iron as if the officer wielding the torch knew that there were more people behind the stones. Louisa peeped upwards to see Liesl and Brigitta both duck their heads. The look on their father's face was perhaps to dreadful to comment on in that moment. Louisa ducked her head downwards into her lap and tried to breathe.

There was a moment where she sat there and the ringing of the gates sounded. And then she heard it.

The gasp.

It came from Liesl.

Of course It came from Liesl.

The look on her sisters face told Louisa all she needed to know in that moment.

It was Rolfe.

Of course it was fucking Rolfe.

Louisa had never hated him more.

There was a long pause as their father took stock of it. How much he had known about the situation between his eldest and Rolfe, Louisa did not know but she thought that he knew more than he was letting on. The look on his face was sharp and too the point and Louisa ducked her head so that she could avoid that glare. She did not want to think about what this moment was. That was between Liesl, their father and the boy who had gone down the steps with the rest of the members of the Hitler's Youth.

Louisa waited until their father told them to stand up. She thought her legs might give out from her but she stood up all the same. She shivered into her coat and forced herself upwards. How the hell she was supposed to get over the mountains when she could barely stand was beyond anything she could ever think about.

And that was when it happened.

Rolfe.

A gun.

Pointed at their father.

Liesl let out a little scream and a plea that Louisa couldn't hear over the beating of her own heart. She reached for her sister's arm even as her brother grabbed hers. Their father remained completely in control.

"Maria" he said and there was no emotion in his voice. Actually there was. Later when she was older and wiser and the world had gone to rights again she would realise that it was amusement and a bitter resentment in his voice. But she was thirteen and she was not as old as she had always wanted to believe.

"The children"

She was aware that she was being pushed backwards down the steps.

"Father" she hissed but her brother shook his blonde head.

"Louisa" Fredrich said shaking his head again. "Louisa, he knows what he is doing."

He looked hopelessly at her and Louisa had to look away even as they slid into the car that was by some God-given miracle waiting for them. She slid into the seat and leaned back feeling older than she had ever done in her life. There was a long moment where she was on tenterhooks waiting for the gunshot that would either end the life of a seventeen-year-old boy or the life of her father.

It never came.

And then suddenly her father was there sliding into the car. He said nothing as he reversed and sped off and Louisa did not dare ask him. Instead she took another breath and forced herself to take another breath of the clean night air. She thought she was going to be sick and that was before she took stock of how fast they were driving down the damn rocky road.

They drove for an hour before they reached the rocky outlines that were the mountains, Louisa enjoyed much of the luxury that came with a car as she could. She enjoyed being Austrian for just a second longer as each second passed.

She waited for the sound of sirens to wail behind her showing that the Nazi's had caught up with them leaving the nuns who had taken them in despite the dangers in peace.

The sirens never came.

* * *

**And there you are-I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and i will do my best to have the next one published completing this story sooner rather than later. **

**Next Chapter-The Von Trapps escape into the mountains, towards their new life. Louisa takes stock of all that has happened and what is in store for her future in the final chapter. **


	15. We Build, We Fight

**Hi, so here is the final chapter of this story! I want to say a huge thank you to all of you who have read and reviewed and favourited and followed this story it means more than anything I can come up with. **

**As always I will take a break from this fandom for a while to tackle some new stories but I already have several stories and one shots for this fandom in mind so I can assure you, you will be seeing more of my work. **

**Disclaimer-Nothing is mine here. **

**When i started this story about Louisa I dedicated it to the wonderful actress who played her. Once again i would like to dedicate this story to Heather Menzies. **

**Please Read and Review. **

* * *

That's My Story

Chapter 15-We Build, We Fight.

The Von Trapps escape to the mountains, towards their new life. Louisa takes the opportunity to take stock of all that has happened and what is in store for her future in the final chapter of this story.

* * *

It was hard going.

That for the first day as the night turned into morning and the wind blew around their ears were the only thoughts that occupied Louisa's thoughts. Twice she had to sit down and had it not been for Friedrich in the first hour letting her lean her head against his shoulder she would have been completely sure that she would have lay down on the harsh earth and the rocks and the mud and would have been simply to shocked at the events that had taken place to get back up again.

Fortunately her brothers and sisters had come together in a way that they had never done before, even when things between them, the governesses and their father had been so bad they could all barely be in the same room together for more than a short period of time.

But it was hard going nonetheless.

Louisa was used to being outdoors. In fact out of all of her sisters she was the one who was used to being outdoors the most. And yet she found it hard.

She didn't know why.

Perhaps it was because the magnitude of what had taken place was finally crashing down upon her. Perhaps it was because they had managed to do the impossible. Or perhaps it was the simple reason that they had survived what had seemed impossible. Louisa had no idea but she knew that her father seemed to relax a little with every step they took away from their car and over the mountains helping each other when it became rocky.

Twice she nearly went over on her ankle. Brigitta who had managed to keep indoors as much as she could was struggling more than everyone else including the little children. Gretl soon had taken up position upon their father's back as they climbed over the rockier parts of the mountains where the path became non-existent and the dangers became more and more present. Kurt and Fredrich were walking together chatting together as if this was a mere excursion out into the woods, the only thing missing was the football that one of them usually carried at their sides.

Brigitta was behind her, she was still looking over the mountain at the hills and the dips in the landscape that were scattered with the snow that never melted and the feel of the sun and the wind on their faces. The abbey had been so long ago that neither one of them could remember the cold air when it slapped them in their faces. Liesl usually sombre and quiet came next and Marta struggling a little with the terrain with their mother clutching onto her arm and chattering away with the same childish glee that she usually did at home.

Louisa was unsure weather or not it was easier that their younger siblings didn't know much of what was going on or if it was just irritating. Either way she found she was biting her tongue. She didn't want to do that but she was easily irritated these days. There was so much uncertain in the air right now and there was so much that was unsaid. There was no clear or clean cut path that they were on only the knowledge that they were leaving behind the only life that they had ever known because of something that they didn't know could end. In those long hours walking through the mountains Louisa found herself wondering what was the point? What was the point of running away from Austria if Hitler turned his attention to Switzerland, to America, to England? What were they achieving?

And would this war even happen?

There were so many questions on the tip of her tongue and Louisa found herself slipping back into the patten of hating her father, once again he had pulled them away from her life, from her comfortable life and had asked only that they trust him. How were they supposed to trust a man that had abandoned them time and time again too many times to count?

Louisa thought about this as they made camp for the night. There was nothing that could be done, indeed it was too dangerous for them to continue in the dark. She was so utterly done that she couldn't help but walk towards a rock away from the warmth of the fire and sit down there.

She felts someone sit down next to her. It was Liesl. Her sister's dark hair was tied back with a clip and she had her hat in her hands, she leaned her head for a second against Liesl's shoulder and neither she nor Louisa commented on the fact that either one of them had been crying through their long walk through the mountains and towards freedom.

"I'm sorry about Rolfe" Louisa said finally. "I think…well…I think in his own way, the boy he was before the German's invaded did love you"

Liesl shook her head. "I don't know" she said finally. "I wonder if he ever had feelings at all. I wonder…sometimes when I think of the way he used to talk about me or sing about me despite the fact that I was only a year younger than he was…I wonder what kind of woman he wanted, looking back even before the Nazi's invaded Austria, I am not sure that I would be the only woman who would give him what he wanted"

"Good thing you didn't fall into bed with him then" Louisa said bitterly.

Liesl said nothing, there was nothing to say. The secrets that they shared between them as sisters were too strong to say out loud where men like their father and their brothers, boys turning into men were standing. After all what was the point of it all?

"Father has the right of this you know" she said suddenly into the silence.

"You've changed your tune. Once not so long ago you were prepared to elope or sleep with Rolfe for the pleasure of seeing father's face when he got wind of your activities"

"Ah I don't deny it. But I've changed, I've become older and wiser in the last twenty four hours than I would have done in the last year or so. Life is not perfect, it's messy and complicated and I realised that grief is a bitch—pardon my language—and that doesn't discriminate. I get it…I get it why he's the way he is. I get that father isn't perfect. It took me a long time but since Rolfe pointed a gun at him I realised that none of what had taken place before mattered much. All that matters is that we are alive and together. So many families already are not and the war hasn't even begun"

"Do you really think there is going to be a war?" Louisa asked finally into the silence.

"Yes" Liesl said finally. "One way or another I think there is going to be another World War. And I think all we can do is try our best to outrun it and pray like hell that it doesn't take anyone from this family. At the very least that's what I'm going to do right now."

Louisa wiped her eyes on the edge of her sleeve and when she spoke it was with a voice that was so unlike her own she wasn't even sure the words had sprung from her lips.

"It seems surreal that months ago I was just turning thirteen, I thought that meant I was grown up. Now I don't feel so sure"

"I think we've all had to grow up very fast. I am not sure any of us will be children again. But I do think that as far as father and mother are concerned it will be harder for them than it will be for us. After all…we are children no longer. For any parent—to have their child ripped from all that they have known, through no fault of their own…I imagine that must be more painful that one could imagine. And because of that I find I can forgive. And I can not take a step back into my previous life. And I think Louisa that you can do that as well. Sleep on it."

Louisa rolled her eyes and leaned back against the hard stone of the rock.

"I liked it better when you were helping me pick out a lipstick that matched my eyes" she said bitterly. Liesl grinned at her but said nothing else. She wrapped an arm around her and Louisa rested her head upon her sister's shoulder wanting nothing more to do than to sleep away this nightmare that had now become her day to day life.

They remained like that for some time until they were called for dinner which was some bread and cheese. It filled a hole but Louisa was too tired to care about anything other than that. Instead when she put her head to her arm and slept imagining it to be the bed that was still unmade in her bedroom that was still warm and inviting, all she could do was pray that tomorrow they would get over the border before the Nazi's caught up with them.

It was not an inspiring thing to wish for.

* * *

The next morning they were walking again and Louisa found it difficult to keep up instead lagging behind. Their mother had her arm this time around Liesl and Louisa knew that while she had once been her sister's confident another woman had taken her place. Louisa found she was glad. Liesl's secrets had kept her awake on more than one night and had nearly gotten them killed. Someone smarter than her must be able to talk some sense into their sister and remind her that there was still time to grow up.

Friedrich was now with Gretl, Kurt with Marta and Brigitta was walking alone. Louisa knew her younger sister well, she knew what she was doing, for every mile that she was walking a story idea was popping up in her sister's head. She was a reader, she was a writer and someday in the not to distant future when this…well…whatever this conflict with Hitler would become ended, Louisa fully expected a fully published account of their experience courtesy of Brigitta Von Trapp to grace the shelves of whatever country they were residing in.

She was unaware her father had doubled back until she was being offered an arm.

"Would you mind helping an old man out?"

Louisa giggled unable to stop herself. She linked arms with her father without a second thought.

There was a pause where they carried on walking.

And then.

"Do you know when I met your mother, your new mother that is, there was a part of me that did not recognise my feelings towards her. And I made mistakes, many of them in fact, but she told me that one day I would wake up and find Liesl a woman. She spoke of Liesl…however I think she was also informing me about you. She told me that one day I would wake up and you would be a woman and I wouldn't even notice it. I think perhaps she was right, for I look around and no longer see the little girl I once knew"

Louisa said nothing for a second, she was still not used to this amount of comfort coming from her father.

"It will take time" she said finally. She knew her father knew what she was talking about and he nodded looking out over the landscape as Austria became Switzerland. They carried on for a while before Louisa could ask the question.

"Will we ever come back?"

Her father stared out over the mountains and did not speak for a second.

"I don't know" he said "But to stay…to join them…" he shook his head. "Louisa I could not do it. I could not join them and they would have never have allowed a man like me to sit on my hands, nor was I sure that we could do that. We've gotten out just in time. Soon I fear…I know that we wouldn't be able to do that. It's not an easy thing I've asked you to do. And I hope one day we can return home. But I cannot say."

"Even if we do" Louisa said finally into the silence as the realisation of what this meant came crashing down upon her. "Home will never be the same"

And she was right, home would never be the same, the country would never be the same, the world would never be the same. Louisa would never be the same. She had left the old Louisa with the old world in her old house with the windows facing the lake and the bed that was still unmade and the housekeeper and butler and the red shoes still somewhere under the bed. Some other sort of girl would wake up tomorrow. She was not sure she would be ever ready to contemplate that loss. She shut it away, one day she would mourn this old world and that blonde haired girl who had thought by being thirteen she was invincible. That girl in two months had learnt a lot.

"Home" her father said finally. "Is where your family is. I don't care where we end up, or weather or not this makes sense anymore as long as my family stays together, and I will fight for that until my last breath"

Louisa nodded, her throat was too tight to speak but she finally found she could say the words that had long ago eluded her.

"I love you father"

There was a pause as they both acknowledged how long it had been since either one of them had said that to the other. When her father next spoke she could hear the tremor in his voice even though he did his best to hide it.

"I love you too Louisa"

She leaned her head against his arm.

They carried on walking like that for a very long time.

* * *

That night they crossed the border from Austria into Switzerland. Some of the strain off both of their parents faces went. They found a little farmhouse, the older couple content to give them the barn to shelter in. It had seemed they were not the only family to flee over the borders.

Dinner was warm and as the rain finally pattered down onto the roof Louisa found that she was exhausted. But she had something to do before she went to sleep.

She reached for the sketchpad that she had carried with her, the one her father had given her, the creamy pages untouched and the new pencils. She reached for the first page and began to draw all that she could remember. The memories, the pain and the loss and the love and her family, all that she could record about this time. She found that the drawing came to her easily. She found that she needed to get this out. She had to remember, her legacy would be to remember.

"What are you doing Louisa?" Brigitta said sleepily into the silence. Louisa made another stroke with her pencil and smudged out the line so that the lake she was drawing was separate from the rough outline of the garden she had once played in.

The answer was simple and it came to her lips with very little thought. As soon as she said it she knew it was true. The tight band around her heart loosened a little. She would be alright, they would be alright. She just had to hope and trust and love. And so upon that realisation she could tell her sister just what she was doing and know it to be true. It was true. And so she answered.

"Telling my story"

* * *

**I hope you all enjoy this story as much as I enjoyed writing it. During this trying time I wish all you and your families the best of health and I hope to be back to this fandom soon. **

**As always stay safe and have fun reading. Again many, many thanks for all of your support throughout this story. See you all soon. x. **


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